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NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> Help Please
Post Info TOPIC: Help Please
jjcnss


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Help Please
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OK, I don't even know where to begin, but I know that I need help.  I guess I should start from the beginning.  

When I was a child I grew up around drugs.  My Mother and Father were both drug addicts,  More my Father than my Mother.  When I was about 3 my mother divorced my Father because of said usage.  Crack, Marijuana, pills and alcohol. My mother quit pills and crack but stayed on the Marijuana and alcohol.  She is still there today.  My Father has been on crack on and off all my life,  I've moved over 500 miles away to get away from it.  He has cleaned himself up for the most part,  he still does Marijuana occasionally and drinks almost daily.  He doesn't drink like he used to but he still drinks.

Now for where I really need help.  I met this guy 10 years ago and fell in love with him.  We have been together for almost 10 years at this point.  He knows about my upbringing and what all I have been through in my past.  He knows I can't stand drugs or alcohol or pills.  However, recently I have found out that he is on two different pills and he is addicted to them.  Now that I know he said he is going to quit and when I found out he told me he was willing to go to rehab.  However, he is no longer willing to go to rehab and told me that he is going to do this on his own.  

I don't know what to do, where to go or anything of that nature.  I love this man deeply but I think he also knows that I won't stand by and watch him go down the drain.  I think he also knows that I won't stand for being with an addict.

Please help!!!  I don't know where to go or what to do.

Also, where should I go for family support groups and family help?

Thanks.

J.


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WasteOfPaint


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Hey, heres a place to start, http://www.nar-anon.org .

As for him quitting own his own, comming from an addict whos trying to quit on my own at this very moment, Ive said it too many times , but it was ALWAYS FOR SOMEONE ELSE.... he has to want to do it because HE wants it.... I hope he does hun...it took me a Long Long Long time to figure that out, when I thought I hit my bottom...it got 1000 times worse. But we are all a little different. I can only speak for me. Be assertive! All my best....

(LongLongLong....Great Beatles song....makes me cry everytime)

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we might die from medication but we sure killed all the pain, but what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane
jjcnss


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Posts: 8
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Thank you! I know it is something he has to want for himself. And I feel that he does.

I have to find help for me though. I am having a very very hard time over this. I can't sleep at night, heck, i can't even sleep in the same bed as him anymore. when he sweats, when he has his small convulsions they keep me awake and now that I know all I can think about is the drugs hes on.

the more and more I read these posts on here, I am starting to cry now, I don't know what to do. This hurts so much inside!!!

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WasteOfPaint


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Posts: 19
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do YOU have anyone that YOU can talk to? good friend who you can really open up to or be with?....your post breaks my heart cause i know ive put people i love alot through this same crap....check out that site and see if you can find one of those meetings, i know it seems awkward at first, but i promise they will do all they can to help and comfort ya....

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we might die from medication but we sure killed all the pain, but what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane
jjcnss


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Posts: 8
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I have opened up to my parents and a friend from work, I don't feel I want anyone else knowing though. I do see that there is a chapter very close to my house on Thursday nights. (its only 5 miles away) I will probably go tomorrow night. I want to help him so badly.

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WasteOfPaint


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Posts: 19
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good! go, it will help , i promise...til then...feel free to vent or get whatever you need to off your mind here. Ill prob be on here for a lil while tonight , wish i could do more for ya , but please check out that meeting....Talk to someone there...or you dont have to say a word,just listen...your choice, it will help ya , all my best

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we might die from medication but we sure killed all the pain, but what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane
MIKEF


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hey jjcnss!

was hearing you and also suggest Naranon for self help.i have a 23 year old son recovering heroin addict and although my own using took me to devastion before i surrendered(1984 after 25 years of addiction) when it bit my son i was "hooked" again.been part of that fellowship fOR for over 2 years now...we  must learn to take care of ourselves  and let go and detach with love from our friends/parents /children /relatives.. as we can only do our own recovery..you may want to  consider setting boundaries for your relationhip such as "working  recovery"no using "something that can be monitored so you dont keep "riding the rollercoaster"not too many but most important be willing to follow up on what is decided or it just becomes "useless; banter: we had to actually put our son on the street in the worse shape of his life to possibly save him.we knew he would die/go to jail or hopefully begin recovery.fortunately he chose the last after being arrested...program tools reenforced what i already knew that i couldnt help him and was just making it easier..none of it is easy but it takes work,just like our own recovery..keep comin back here I believe most here on this site are here to 'spread the message of hope and recovery. I wish you peace and strength....mikef



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