not sure what the topic should be

drugfree · Senior Member

not sure what the topic should be

BigV · Senior Member

AMEN .

I knew you were going to have a little trouble with that last episode so would have I.

But there's a lesson in everything and your not the only one who should be taking an inventory on that whole deal but that's not for you to be worried about just take care of self inventory.

Step 10

The Tenth Step can do this for us; it can help us correct our living problems and prevent their recurrence. We examine our actions during the day. Some of us write about our feelings, explaining how we felt and what part we might have played in any problems which occurred. Did we cause someone harm? Do we need to admit that we were wrong? If we find difficulties, we make an effort to take care of them. When these things are left undone, they have a way of festering.

http://www.earthgroupna.org/literature/basictext/step10.htm

Glad your not leaving we NEED you here.

Damaris · Member

Drug free I'm sorry that you had to go through that episode but watching you handle your self on the boards has helped me be more understanding of what The traditions are really about. It must have been hard going through that but I thank you for being an example to me... I am a new comer still in my first 50.. somthing days and I am sometimes scared to post with out extreame care for fear that I might type something that some one dosn't like... But thank you again for coming back it shows me the strength in the program of NA.

DeanC · Guru

drugfree wrote:
i was left with the feelings of being attacked... and really my feelings were hurt.... After all i was hurt... and even more hurt from the response.... every time that happened to me....many people disagree with what i say and many people have some choice words for me, in the end that isn't my problem, it's theirs......I know where my part is... and where my responsibilities lie.... no one opinion will ever drive me away.... I never realized how easy it was to get a resentment than decide to leave....
_________________________________________

drugfree, there is a difference between who you ARE and what you DO. This is an anonymous board and your are relatively new here, so we obviously don't know Who you are. So taking what 3 people said about your comments personally, is what hurt your feelings. We Own our feelings and only We can hurt our own feelings. Yes it's our perception and subsequent negative reaction that hurts our own feelings, not anybody else. Even if someone says something wickedly derogatory and untrue about us, we still have a choice to make about how we react to that. If you think that you walk around with a target on your back, guess who put that target there?

I grew up with a chip on each shoulder because of a dysfunctional family. Nothing that I did was ever good enough and I was conditioned to failure. So much so that I sabotaged my success and I perpetuated my own abandonment. I made a habit of handing strangers my personal information and then antagonized them till they threw it back in my face. It took a long time and the help of several programs to defuse the bomb that I had strapped on my back. Luckily I had my sick mother to study and get a close look at the mechanics of the victimization of oneself. it's very hard to see when you're the one doing it. Today I am not a victim.

-- Edited by DeanC on Wednesday 27th of May 2009 01:31:52 PM

AnthonyG · Senior Member

I spent many years as a union rep. One of the most important things I learned was that if half the people loved me and the other hated me I was in a pretty decent postion.

In NA what i learn is that the world is exactly as it should be. Any input from me would just screw things up. Im powerless

LeeU · Guru

You are a good role model...how we handle this tuff stuff really matters, and your post has helped me w/something similar I'm dealing with now. Thanks.

Raman · Guru

Thanks for sharing all that Drugfree. Ill have you know that life is still unmanageable, though I have two decades and 1 year clean.
Seems like theres always situations that will overpower and baffle me into doing something stupid.

Last Thursday nite was like that and the next Thursday nite, last nite, has been like that too.
I could really feel the prescence of an evil and destructive power greater than myself, so I beagn to recite the Serenity Prayer in my mind. I had to silently bear the abuse of a total stranger, and not react at any cost. Luckily the cops came on time.

Then later on I have a shock in realizing that the hand in date for a referral asignment was Wednesday 27th and not 29th Friday as I thought it was. Im trying to get an extension,,,,,,,
Im trying to hand it over to God on one hand and am trying to eject those feelings and mad thoughts out of my being.

I am scared, especially what these two incidents mean by way of impacting my future.
God knows that this is when I need to surrender the most,,and to let go and let the God of my understanding guide me through this troubled time.
Im hoping this too shall pass and leave me wiser and better prepared for unexpected risks.

Thanks for letting me share; keep coming back.

-- Edited by Raman on Friday 29th of May 2009 10:29:13 AM

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