Well its been 4 mothers days that have passed since you went on. Couple things I need to talk to you about.
Remember that time when I was 7 and left the house running after you told me I better not leave ? You caught me two houses down the block. Who would have thought you could run like that ? It shocked me .
Even though you caught me I didnt stop running from you. When things went bad I ran. When things were good I ran. When things were normal I ran like hell.
I just want you to know Ive finally stopped running. I know it took a long time. I know I broke your heart a thousand times.
You wouldnt believe whats happened to me . I quit doing dope. I know , shocking right ? I cant believe it either.
I hooked up with these people and they all quit dope too . And they dont run . I think maybe they can help me. I wish it could have happened while you were still here to see. But Im thinking if I dont run ,maybe you can still catch me.
I love you and Im missing you.
Your son
Anthony
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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .
Sublime Anthony,,, what a bearkthru,,like what I wanted to say to Pa, but never thought as creatively as you !!
It's like when I read your share,I could see your mom beaming down at you,,her loving eyes shining,,with just a shade of mist,, of her tears of happiness, for a son doing well !!
if theres one person more than anyone who Ive had bear the brunt of my defects,,both using and clean,,it was ma.
"mother of mine,, you gave to me, all of my life ,to do as I please id like to give you what you gave to me, mother sweet mother of mine. Mother you gave me happiness, much more than words can say, I pray to the Lord, that he may bleass you,,every nite and every day !" (Osmond, 1972 ?)
This last year ma hasnt seen me around often,,Im sure she is relieved and happy that Im doing what I wanted to do,; live away form it all for sometime.
Im glad she's there for my little girl. It's like this little boy grows up at last !!!
-- Edited by Raman on Sunday 10th of May 2009 07:31:28 PM
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
She'd be a happy mother seeing you today Anthony, my mothers eyes today as I acted silly at our gathering just shined and her smile tells me every things worth doing, that the past is forgotten and behind us today is what's important and I need to keep on this road.
My girl asked me what I was getting her and I said " Well flowers of course " she then said I needed to give her a gift I told her my gift to her was to be with her and that was what was important to my Mother, my Mother has everything she needs materialisticly, what she needs spiritually is her family there with her now and then and I'm glad I can do that today I missed many mothers days and I know those days saddened her deeply.