So I went to Detox for 4 days, then I went to my first outpaitent meeting which I didnt really want to go to. My drug of choice was Vicodin, so I found a pill and I used today I know they are going to ua me I wonder if I will get kicked out of outpaitent I am kinda scared because I knew what I did was wrong. But, I didn't know HOW not to do it or WHY I did it. What would anyone suggest?
Just so you know the whole story I get really bad head aches so I was prescribed 2 vicodin per day which was fine but, then I had a loss in the family so I started taking 10 pills a day I still had the script for the 2 but, the rest I was buying from the street. and I had such a headache today thats why I did it. but, I guess its just from finishing up my withdrawls it just sucks am I ever going to overcome this.
This is the part of the story where failure and fear start to invade your life. We've all had it happen and have been there.
We all have different tolerances for pain. Some addicts needed to go to greater extremes than others. Some of us found we had had enough when we realized that we were getting high too often and it was affecting our daily lives.
I think a good place to get started is sharing here with others and reading the literature just so you are better aware of some things that have , are and will go on.
The program is in the literature its in the working of the steps and its in sharing . It's about getting honest, open minded and willing, you decide what your ready for on those topics.
I won't suggest what I think you should other then its time to start searching your own soul for that, the program does suggest a few things that will guide you through this journey your on with better understanding.
We have to make a decision that no matter what happens, we will not use. I know plenty of recovering AA/NA that get migranes that don't use. They deal with it. Just remember you're trading temporary relief for the headaches for the complete loss of yourself and possibly your sanity, freedom, and life. Get to meetings every day. I didn't miss a meeting for my first 3.5 years.