Hey i'm gonna go off your topic for a minute and share something I too am a rock hound and my rock is GOLD ( au ) yes I am a gold prospector I have a large dredge, high banker, metal detecting THE WORKS, secondly I love to fish also, but since I started this hobbie of prospecting I haven't done much of it but the neat thing is now when I dredge I go under water for long periods of time and get to see first hand all the aquatic creatures I used to kill LOL and its so freaken neat just watching them swimming around some even eating bugs and stuff coming off the back of my dredge, lots of critters I find stuck to rocks and boulders, I have even gotten to watch fish spawn up in one creek.

So back to the subject I used to have a guy I went to meetings with years ago he was like a brother to me his name was Loco Johnny I loved that guy dearly he was insane and funny at the same time. Anyhow Johnny left town before I really got this recovery thing going good and a few months after his leaving I found out he relapsed and died that night, over 5 years clean it just broke my heart and for a long time I felt like his spirit followed me, when I got really down on myself johnny would show up I would hear that insane laugh he had and I would hear him talk with me yes it was kinda weird but I liked having him around. So I put over 5 years together myself and ended up relapsing and on the relapse I thought about johnny and how I could end up with the same demise very easily , I stopped that relapse that night and came back.

I don't thinks so much about johnny anymore that saddness is gone but you know I think I know why. My recovery is different this time around I haven't figured out exactly how that is but its happening maybe I am not struggling quite so hard but it is a struggle dealing with ME MYSELF and I that's for sure I think maybe i have ccepted who I am better now and I give myself a break more often and things aren't so bleak.

So look up be greatful for those people who have passed through your life they all had something good to give you.

Naw, vits ain't gonna do nuthin for PVCs. As my cardi doc said, there really isn't anything to take for this condition. It's not dangerous in any way, and the one med that some folk can take tends to lower the BP a wee bit. Since I've already got low BP... ... And bein' the welfare bum that I am, I couldna afford.... well, whatever you wrote, Dean.

I got to my noon meeting, shared my stuff, and had not one person come talk to me. I swear to ya, it's like this fella hyar has got himself just too much cleantime and he don't need no help. Now I can really understand those addicts with substantial CT and recovery up and relapsing. Gotta get themselves some of that newcomer lovin'! .. ..

Naw, but that ain't for me. I put too much into my recovery to take that route. Mind you, a rousingly long and painful relapse might just get the Ontario gov't to look at all the rest of my medical woes and grant me that disability pension I so desparately seek, and was refused via a letter I got today. Eh, even that ain't worth the effort. 'sides, I is broke! .. .. .. .. Thus, all is well on the Recovery Front!!