A treatable illness

Nina · Member

Let's try this again!

BigV · Senior Member

Here you go Nina start your days out with the just for today get focused on just staying clean for this day thats all any of US have.

March 21, 2009

A treatable illness

Page 83

"Addiction is a disease that involves more than the use of drugs."

Basic Text p. 3

At our first meeting, we may have been taken aback at the way members shared about how the disease of addiction had affected their lives. We thought to ourselves, "Disease? I've just got a drug problem! What in the world are they talking about?"

After some time in the program, we began to see that our addiction ran deeper than our obsessive, compulsive drug use. We saw that we suffered from a chronic illness that affected many areas of our lives. We didn't know where we'd "caught" this disease, but in examining ourselves we realized that it had been present in us for many years.

Just as the disease of addiction affects every area of our lives, so does the NA program. We attend our first meeting with all the symptoms present: the spiritual void, the emotional agony, the powerlessness, the unmanageability.

Treating our illness involves much more than mere abstinence. We use the Twelve Steps, and though they don't "cure" our illness, they do begin to heal us. And as we recover, we experience the gift of life.

Just for Today: I will treat my illness with the Twelve Steps.

Jana40503 · Senior Member

Hey Nina. I'm sorry you are struggling. For me, the ability to NOT pick up came when I surrendered and what I mean by that is that I finally believed the TRUTH about my disease and my inability to use successfully.

I've learned that I act on what I BELIEVE, not what I KNOW. I've always known that drugs were a problem for me, that I couldn't use without ending up broke, miserable and sick. Knowing that never kept me clean because I am an "expert at self deception", I lie to me, I believe me and I act on those lies I believe. "I can just do one", "I can use today and stop tomorrow" "I can just spend $X and then stop" "I'm not hurting anyone but me" "It's not that bad" "There are people way worse than me so I don't have to stop yet" and on and on and on. As long as I believed that stuff, I could justify using again and again and again.

The ability to surrender for me came when I took a real, hard, honest look at my life and my drug abuse. When I ended up in jail, pregnant, my cover blown, I got the first glimpse of a reality I couldn't deny anymore. When I wrote the answers to the first step questions in our flat book, I solidified that reality as what I now believe, not just know.

Get to meetings, talk to people, get a sponsor, do some work. Nothing worth having comes without effort!

{{{{hugs}}}}

LeeU · Guru

Hmmmm...if I am powerless over my addiction, and I cop a fix because the disease in my brain and body is stronger than any will power I can humanly muster to defeat it, have I "failed"?

If I am powerless, then I am without the necessary power. Can a power GREATER THAN MY SELF help end this craziness? If I'm not sure about that, am I willing to go through whatever I have to go through to come to BELIEVE that? If so, there are 8 other steps that tell me I'll eventually be straight & sober, and have the capacity and tools to live a decent, reasonably life.

If I think I am so freakin' powerful that I can defeat my addiction, then, hmmmm...what went wrong? THAT is the failure...not picking up. The life-saving beauty of the first step is that you can always begin again, starting with the first nine words, which give us the keys to the kingdom.

One can still be using, to stave off that horrible withdrawal, and absolutely WANT this program. That is not failure, that is the power of addiction. Keep in mind, some folks need to detox with someone who knows what they're doing monitoring it. There is nothing easy about what you are dealing with...it's hell!! Like Jana said, it's all about what you believe. What do you believe?

Raman · Guru

All that said,the moral of the story,as a figure of speech is that I cant but WE can..
No wonder all of our Steps beign with WE !!!

DeanC · Guru

days is over, so how did we do?

susan · Member

Hey Nina

as another newbie to this life (20 days clean today) i can empathize....detox sucks!!! but i found this site and my local meetings and have not looked back...my meetings are truly saving my life...just listening to and sharing with other people that have the same problems as me and seeing how they have learned successful ways of coping with life has been an eye opener...the people on this board are amazing too! find your meetings, find a sponsor and start your step work...you can do this! and all of the support you could ever want or need is just there whenever you need it!Good Luck and Welcome! if you want to talk, I can be reached at siouxlee06@aol.com

Nina · Member

Hey guys! Good news.... this is day 2 of being clean and sober! I went to my first NA meeting last night and I loved it :) The people there were so wonderful and supportive. I can't wait until my next meeting. Since I cut back on the pills my withdrawal symptoms have been minimal this time around. I've been keeping busy and remembering JUST FOR TODAY! Thanks for all the support and I'll update you on how I'm doing.

susan · Member

Way to Go Nina! am so glad you made it to the meetings! They are so important and really do help...just keep comin back! am not sure what you are detoxing from, but there are dr's that can help you manage the physical withdrawal symptoms on an outpatient basis. am glad you are feeling better...if you need anything, just talk to someone at your meetings or check back in here on the boards...others at your meetings will be happy to give you their phone numbers so you can build your support network.

one day at a time...keep comin back...it works if you work it!

Welcome to the Miracles In Progress Group of Narcotics Anonymous! This is not an official NA site, nor is it endorsed by the NA World Service Office.

March 21, 2009

A treatable illness