today is my two week anniversary! lol, it sounds so little, but it felt like eternity! I love being able to breathe again and think.
The very best part, my son. I never thought he knew or felt a thing about my addiction until I stopped, he has FLOURISHED. He is only 5, somehow he is celebrating with me without even knowing it. He is not nearly as moody....asks for hugs all the time, I have so much more time for him now and my attention to him is much more real.
wow, just after that last sentence he ran up and gave me a big heart that says I LOVE YOU. If there is no other reason to stop, which we know there is, it is worth it to do it for him. But it's not only for him, I deserve all of that love too.
65 inches of snow this year, I will be REALLY celebrating when the sun comes out (addicted to the sun!).
I am so happy for you and your son. I never thought my child knew becuase she never saw anything. But I was wrong. I think kids can sense things and they know more than they understand. Anyways now that I am sober my relationship with my daughter is better than it has ever been.
Congratulations, way to go Addicted to Sun? Moon's more appealing to me anytime, you'd understand why if you live here in India I guess...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Tahir - You live in India! Wow! Where I live near Boston Massachusetts USA, the days are short and there is lots and lots of snow and it's extremely cold! We only have warmth for a couple of months. My best friend is from Mumbai. I find her so interesting and love to hear all about India. Also there is a great PBS series about India that I really enjoy. emily
Bangalore, where I live, is relatively less warm as compared to other places like Mumbai, and the summer here in Bangalore is actually only for a few months (a quarter of the year) when it used to be moderately warm earlier. But lately, I don't know if its because of global warming or what, Bangalore has also started scorching, very humid in the summer, which is very unlikely. The other parts of the year here are very cosy - just enough bright sun everyday with cool afternoons and evenings.
Glad to know you have a good friend in Mumbai, and that you find India interesting
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
wow, congratulations! today is MY 2 weeks and i know exactly how you feel! actually, today really sucked for me, long story...basically my disease just getting at me and me sitting in it. anyway, i have been taking care of my daughter (19 mos) alone, while her dad has been out of town for a week tomorrow, getting back on sunday. first of all, i do not know how single moms do this it's hard. anyway, i was super frustrated with her over little stuff all day, just not in a good space, still haven't been sleeping either which i'm sure isn't helping my mood. so i snapped at her a couple times, and then she threw a tantrum and i literally had to put her down and walk away to keep from shaking her i was so frustrated. went in my room and closed the door, prayed, thought i gave it to God. anyway, the thought to use, to get some relief was so strong, and of course began to tell me how much more patience i would have if i were high, how much better i could handle this week and her, and everything... i called my sponsor (after eating a box and a half of GS cookies -but hey at least it wasn't a bottle of pills or alcohol) and we talked, and she brought up the point that even tho i had a bad day, my daughter would much rather have me PRESENT than numb to her. and i have to remember that. exactly what you said. they DO pick up on it, i'm sure, even if i'm not COMPLETELY rocked on whatever, still functional, they can tell. anyway, i'm happy to hear that things are going well for you and your family in recovery. it's nice to know other moms are doing the same thing i am. it sucks, i have this thing that tells me i have to be super mom or whatever, and the truth is, i don't. it's ok to have bad days. i didn't use! i know you have more time now, but congratulations on your 2 weeks...should be 3 by now. it is a HUGE milestone for me. now, if i could just get this THINKING problem straightened out....ugh