My son was in rehab for cocaine and alcohol addiction in October. He was released the first of November and has been doing very well... has been doing either an AA or NA meeting daily. He has found Jesus and has been living a clean life. Last night, for reasons I do not understand, he went out and bought a bag of coke...He lives in Florida, I live in the Northeast. I just got back Monday night from a 10 trip down there and thought he was doing fabulous... Can someplease please explain to me the thoughts behind a relapse, or the thoughts of an addict. I am heartsick. thank you
Im sorry to hear about your sons relapse. It happens alot to addicts. Your son has to surrender and let his higher power make decisions for him. He is not lost just because of a relapse. It just means he needed to have another wake up call. or maybe the itty bitty shitty commitee got threw to him. One never knows. One thing we all do know is that if he stays out of the rooms, things will get worst before they get better. If he comes back to the rooms, dont give him a hard time. It was a lesson learned. Make sure he talks to his sponcer. I will keep you in my prayers.
What a relapse can help us do is get a more vigorous program going, that is if we stop using, once started it's often difficult to stop the addictive nature so he needs to put it down ASAP.
If he used then he wanted to use, for whatever reason his reason for staying clean before were set aside and he made the choice to use and give up on his recovery.
Often times its SOMETHNG that takes us to the edge, people, places, things or situations , where we feel powerless and we feel the need to run and escape from that thing that brings us discomfort, DISCOMFORT is a big one for me.
Deb if he has a computer get him to post here that is if he wants help, we have to be willing to ask for help, we have to have a desire to be clean and use this program in our lives, sometimes that takes a lot of pain getting here.
I am sorry for the Mom's out there I put my Mom through so so much worrying and fear for many many years, another reason I stay clean today after my own personal reason is for other people just so they don't have to be in the path of this tornado.
I will pray also but he needs to get some help just as you have done for yourself.
Relapse is a reality. We live in a world of denial and with a mind that lies to us. For some reason 90 days is a really tricky time... The diseased part of our thinking begins to get afraid... We've put some time between us and our last hit. The disease of addiction gets slick and tricky and begins to work on us... "You can do just one!" "Now you know you can stay clean so you can just get high tonight and stop again tomorrow". VERY powerful lies. Hopefully he'll get back to meetings, talk about it and recognize the importance of sharing those kinds of thoughts when they come so they will lose their power over him.
I will pray he finds his way back quickly!
{{{hugs}}}
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The truth does not change based on my inability to stomach it - Flannery O'Connor
My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance and in inverse proportion to my expectations - Michael J. Fox
Thanks for sharing Debi, your son seems to have really worked hard and seems to have shown a lot of willingness in his efforts, going by what you share above.
He's just had a relapse, and this can happen, just like a Cancer or a cardio patient can relapse inspite of the treatment... And sometimes, it has been our experience in NA that a relapse can be the jarring experience that will make us more vigilant and thorough in our recovery program.
It's only after my last relapse did I pick up a Sponsor and started working the Steps. Before that, I was almost 5 years in NA, relapsing after every 6 months clean. After my last relapse, I did one thing that I was not doing all along in NA - choosing a Sponsor who could guide me through the 12 Steps and working the 12 Steps as my way of life...
How is your son doing now? Has he stopped? There is no shame in relapsing, the shame is in not getting back to recovery and meetings.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
