Need some help...

Angela · Member

Need some help...

Manon · Guru

keep coming back
In NA we are not interested in what or how much you use just about your problem and how we can help
welcome home

Tahir · Member

Welcome to Miracles In Progress family, Angela. Thank you for sharing, glad you're here with us. Here's some useful literature that might help you...

Basic Text - http://www.na.org/pdf/litfiles/us_english/Books/BT6E_Webposting.pdf

It Works: How & Why - http://www.na.org/pdf/It_Works.pdf

There are online meetings happening here at MIP Chatroom, as well as a few other online groups like UKNA and Earth Group.

Best wishes.

-- Edited by Tahir at 09:24, 2009-02-08

Angela · Member

Thank you- I've been reading the posts for awhile and really appreciate the support that people offer to each other. I will check the out the sites and keep reading.

I guess I have to figure out how to get started-

Angela

Angela · Member

I think my main problem right now is how I'm going to get through the withdrawls and still function as a mother.... Then to stay clean- no matter how bad the pain get's- or how tired or depressed I get. And how have other's done it?

I wish there were more time options for the online meetings, but I will try to figure out a way to make it work.

Thanks-
Angela

JanaM40503 · Veteran Member

Angela, are you using a physician to help you stop the pills altogether? I don't have personal experience with withdrawal from opiates or benzo type drugs but have sponsored many women who have. I get that it's completely miserable and I've done a lot of reading about it so I could have a better understanding in helping these women get and stay clean. I know the number one side effect of withdrawal is relapse because the symptoms are so miserable.

Have you talked to your dr. about being dependent and wanting to be abstinent?

TorturedSoul · Veteran Member

Angela, you need to come off of opiates under supervision. Call your doctor or atleast check in to the closest detox center. Detox is 3-5 days. Your in and out. I tried weening my self off opiates so many times and it never worked. The withdraw is too intense. Why can't you take subutex or suboxone or even get on a methadone maintance program. They will give you a whole lot of support. Doing it alone and as a parent is too dangerous. And I am speaking only from experience. You will not be able to function at all.

Raman · Guru

JanaM40503 wrote:
Angela, are you using a physician to help you stop the pills altogether?

If I may say so,that is a very appropriate consideration.

It is an accepted given that self-supervised withdrawls can lead to all sorts of complications.
All the doctors I had encountered in my efforts to stop using generally recommended medical supervision to prempt damage to the brain during physical withdrawls as well as to later rescue the patient from depressions,and suicidal thoughts that may arise due to severe pain during the withdrawl process.

The above information as well as my experience is generic ,,especially in context of opiate withdrawl.

Fore warned is forearmed so be careful Angela.

Once the initial treatment is over, the Steps can be applied.
Verily,theythe Steps are our guarantee for survival.

And,yes , "the ultimate weapon for recovery is the recovering addict" (Basic Text).
Best of luck to you,,I Meditate and Pray for your well being.
A recovering friend ,,Raman.

Angela · Member

Thank you for all your advice on seeking the help of my Dr. I'll set up my appointment. I have weaned myself down to 3 a day and doing pretty good.

marigoldhead · Veteran Member

Glad you are here. Im not going to say that I have the answer but I will tell you what I did. I was also addicted to opiates. I had been on them for over 15 years. I am now 1 1/2 years clean and working the program and helping others. I do agree to talk to your doctor. When I stopped, I went into rehab for 2 days. They guide you on how and when to stop what you are doing. After I got out, I went to many meetings. I got alot of phone numbers and used them. I found for me that I had very little withdrawl. I had the shakes a few days, and I did feel washed out a few days, but other than that I was lucky. Doctors have the attitude to give more drugs to fix old drugs, this has hurt alot of recovering addicts. When you go back to your doctor after your clean, dont let him put you on anything that will enable you to become addicted again. Im not a doctor but I have found other things to help with the pain. Some of these are ... eat right, soak in the tub with warm water, and try meditation. This seems silly but it really does help. Im not saying you will be 100% pain free but it will help. And most important... keep coming back! We are all hear to help each other. If you need more than that, ask me for my email and we can talk more if you need too.... my prayers will be on your recovery.

Angela · Member

Wow- I'm so glad to hear your w/d went so good. It gives me some hope. Did you taper before you quit? Did you have long lasting effects like depression or anxiety? Did you try to quit on your own without hospitalization before that? I would love to talk to you more about it. I will email you with more questions if you send me your email.

I do actually meditate so it didn't sound funny at all. I have stopped for awhile but started again yesterday. Sometimes I just seem to forget how to take care of myself until somebody reminds me.....

Thank you!!!
Angela

marigoldhead · Veteran Member

My email is marigoldhead@hotmail.com

Surrender · Veteran Member

Angela,
I came to this site looking for help, answers, hope...I don't know all of the above I guess. I am an opiate addict as well. It's funny, I started with Lortabs almost 10 years ago, have gotten on and off since but for the last year and a half I have been really struggling again. Only, now I have an 18 month old daughter. I thought I was beating this thing this time, because I stay high half the week and then take a few days off-so I don't think I've gotten seriously physically addicted this time (although I have detoxed off of oxycontin before and it suuuucks), maybe slight w/d but nothing like before. Anyway, the problem is that like you said, half the week that I'm high I'm the fun mom-I have energy, I'm loving, I want to go do things, I'm sure you know what I mean. (when I am not passing out that is, but usually that's at night) The day or two after I am irritable, short tempered, apathetic...I am sitting here wanting to cry right now because when I read your post I felt like it was a sign that I AM in the right place. I have not been able to break this cycle for a year and a half. I do disgusting amounts because my tolerance is so high. I see myself as loving, fun, and generally better on the opiates. My bf assures me otherwise and that I am actually 3 different people: sober, high, and coming down. I don't know why I'm rambling about my story except maybe to get it out there and tell you that you're not alone. I have detoxed before and it's really not THAT bad. I mean, it is no worse than having the flu for a week or so, if you can get some help with your daughter just get off this shit. It's poison. That is my problem right now, getting enough time that I can get out of this cycle. Went to a meeting last night but used again when I got home. I just wanted to say that I feel your pain. I just joined this site so please feel free to keep in touch with me. Good luck!

Angela · Member

Yes yes yes! It sounds like we are going through the same thing. I too feel like a better mom when I'm taking these damn things. Fun, energetic, talkative.... I can clean, run the errands, cook.... I like who I am when I'm 'high'. Although, with this dose I'm not really getting much but even that seems to be better then nothing. Until it hit's the 4 hour mark and it's time to take another one. I was running errands the other day and didn't bring one with me. I had to go back home so I wouldn't feel sick. ugh. I took subutex for 18 months and that effects how you feel when you take opiates again. I don't get that much from them no matter how many I take- which is good. Have you heard of subutex? Good and bad- but I think more good then bad. But, I'm going to stop this time without them. I should be out of my rx Monday or Tuesday and am hoping that by keeping the dose low the w/d's won't be too bad. I also have an apt with a substance abuse counselor Tues. Do you seek counseling? Have you tried to taper off or take less? Probably huh? And how about the GUILT??? Between my own experience and research I'm ready for detox. My husband knows now and is supportive and going to help me with the kids and stuff next week. I worry more about the long term depression and anxiety then the actual physical part.

Surrender · Veteran Member

Hugs

-- Edited by Surrender at 18:38, 2009-02-13

Angela · Member

Your post made me sad... Are you stumbling and throwing up from the pills? How many are/were you taking- and what. Have you heard of subutex or suboxone? Look it up. It blocks the receptors so you don't even crave or think about the opiates AT ALL. If you take one while your on it they won't work. After taking them for awhile you have to taper down to get off them. They are also addictive but nothing like the opiates.
Are you stopping today and going cold turkey?? Coming off such a high dose is not going to be easy, I guess I don't need to tell you that- But you can do it. You've done it before. I think God is key. I'm really praying and focusing on that right now.
I'm worried about you- Have you checked into NA meeting's near you? Is your husband supportive? Have you talked to your Dr?
Did you run out today or dump them or what? What is your plan for detoxing? I have a whole arsenal of things and Sam-e is one of them. There is a site called The Thomas Recipe. Definately check it out. Maybe you'll find something you haven't tried yet. It's for detoxing off opiates.
Sorry about all the questions :o)
Keep in Touch--- Big Cyber Hug

Surrender · Veteran Member

I don't get that messed up all the time, that specifically stumbling, etc has happened twice in the last few months. But yeah, I take 100 mg oxycodone a pop, every few hours til they are all gone. Like I said, my tolerance level is disgusting. I go to meetings, I used to be involved in AA, and I'm getting back into the program. I actually went to my first one in about a year last night.
I wish I could say I got rid of them but no, I took the rest. My boyfriend is as supportive as he can be after living with and being lied to by an addict for a year and a half. I think he's pretty much given up hope at this point. I have said (and meant it) that I was quitting so many times I think he's tired of being disapointed. Anyway, trust me I wouldn't be here if it was something I could handle or still worked in any way.

Surrender · Veteran Member

Oh wow you're in Colorado too? I live in Denver!

Angela · Member

So are you feeling sick today? Hope your doing o.k. Are you going to get more or are you going to try to stop?

Surrender · Veteran Member

no, so far i'm ok. i have been taking ultram since last night...

Angela · Member

Good! I had forgotten about that stuff. Have you ever taken it for w/d's before? Do you have enough to last you for awhile? You may not even go through w/d's if you have enough and can taper down.

Surrender · Veteran Member

i have 30 w/ a refil...they were just sitting in my cabinet i always assumed they were bullshit since not really an opiate LOL so i had them there. my dr prescribed after my surgery when i told him vicodin doesn't work for me since i have such a high tolerance. anyway i feel that i have them for a reason because they are helping immensely with the depression.

Angela · Member

I just posted to you and I did something and it all disappeared! ugh

I was saying..... I've done some research in the past about Ultram and it is addictive if you use too much over an extended period of time. Just take what you need to get through the w/d's. And check the date on your refill- it may only be good for 6 months ( as opiates are) but, this med is weird- it's not completely considered an opiate.

I have 2 days left of pills----

Goodnight,

Sweet Dreams

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