I dont know if anyone else has had this problem, but I recently have had it. I feel really unconfortable around them. I know im no better than they are but, it is still unconforable. It even kept me from sharing at one meeting. I am waiting for my advice from my higher power. I hope this comes soon! I have surrendered it! Well let me know what you think..
Hug them, tell them welcome home. tell them how happy you are they made it. Show them where the coffee is. Introduce them to your new friends. Show them it works. Your gratitude shows when you care and when you share the NA way.
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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .
Yes, it has a very powerful effect for such newcomers when they find their using buddies in a NA meeting clean and sharing recovery, it's an attraction. It was so for me, and I've seen that when my using friends from the past do show up for a meeting, they get amazed at seeing me there, and they seek help more easily as compared to when I meet them at any other place...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Treat that newcomer like you would any other newcomer. Tell them if I can do this you can also. I have had friends come into the room and get the same sponsor I had and then decided it was better if she went back out she hasn't comeback yet. I just pray for her on a daily basis. I can suggest the things that were made to me and offer a listening ear when they need it. I won't hang out with them in the first 90 days though until I see them making meetings. They can get me using before I can get them clean. I had a sponsee sister of mine go back out and she wanted me to come and visit her. I said nope you are a person that used, You have a place you used in, You have things you used, Where you live is considered a playground right now. I said when you come back and make a 90 in 90 then I will hang with you but not until then. My ex sponsor and I talked about her and how she wanted me to come and visit her. Then she thought I was going to take her to a doctor's appointment I laughed. I said call a cab. This woman even thought she was sponsoring me at one point. She said I see when you with your sponsor you can't call me, You know the game is over and it is 12:02 I hope you are on your way home, cause you know after midnight you wanna use the dope. I heard that on voicemail and I was like glad she is my sponsor not! I called my sponsor and told her this and she sat there and laughed and said baby girl you are doing the right thing. I love my new sponsor she is awesome!
In the past I ended up at meetings with all kinds of people and it was very uncomfortable. One time -- a drug/alcohol councelor that I had went to for awhile he was there-- which would have been fine exept I totally freaked out on him when I was in treatment. I called him bad names it was bad. Then a year or so later I seen him at a meeting. And he came up to me and gave me hug and said he was clad I finally had found my way. Another time---I took a "friend" with me to a meeting and half way through I realized she was higher than a kite. She started throwing up right at the meeting she was so high on dope.--
I think that you will run into people that you used with off and on. Running into them at a meeting is probably the safest enviroment that you could be in while seeing them. Encourage them to come back and lead by example.
If you don't mind me asking what is it that your afriad of when you see them?
When I run into people that I use to use drugs with it is an automatic trigger. So I try to avoid them so they don't see me and want to talk or what ever. Then I spend the rest of the day trying to fight off the urge to get high. My old drug-buddies is the number 1 trigger for me so I understand that it is uncomfortable.
