Hi my name is Faith and I am a recovering heroin addict. I have been clean since Feb 14, 1995. I left NA in 1997. I met a man at a meeting I started attending and we started seeing one another. The folks in that group made it known to us that they didn't approve. I had two years of clean time and the guy (who is now my husband) had about 9 months. The thing is, I developed a huge resentment against the people in this group. Because of this resentment, I stopped going to meetings. I do have friends in recovery, and my husband is in recovery, so I have sober addicts to talk to. But I miss the program. I just don't want to feel judged. I love being clean & sober. I have a great career, a good marriage and a relationship with my family that is wonderful. The steps made these things possible for me. I just want to get back to NA and meet some people with real clean time.
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They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm. - Dorothy Parker
Get to a meeting! Welcome to this board too! {{{{hugs}}}}. I'd like just one person who looks down on relationships to show me where the literature even implies no relationships for the first year. It ain't there! I'm glad your relationship worked out! This is a great place, this board. I wish it were more active but maybe now that you're here, it will be!
I hope you go back to meetings. I don't care how much time those who go out had, they almost ALWAYS cite stopping meetings before using again. I hate for that to happen to anyone. There are probably a whole bunch of new people there and the ones who scorned you can now see that you are in a marriage, both of you clean!
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"The truth doesn't change based on my inability to stomach it". - Flannery O'Connor
JF, most likely, because of attrition and nomadic tendencies, most of the people in that group, if not all, are gone. Even if they were't, choose another group. I think that you're making an excuse here. Do you really think that those people, who might actually remain, even remember or care about you after 11 years ? If you look at this a little closer, I think that you'll find a bit ego at work. Remember that "we have to let go of our old ideas absolutely".
Hi Faith, welcome to the board. I agree with Dean, most of those people are proabaly not around anymore. I can see if you live in a very small NA community and know most of the fellowship outside of NA, how you might have nursed your resentment this long. But other than that I believe you would be welcomed back with open arms. Just give it a try and see what happens, what do you have to lose? I'll look forward to seeing you here again. Keep us informed and join us for fellowship!!!
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"With a sweet tongue of kindness, you can drag an elephant by a hair." ~Persian Proverb
I met a man at a meeting I started attending and we started seeing one another. The folks in that group made it known to us that they didn't approve.
They didn't approve? Do they need to?
Thank you for sharing with us JustFaith and welcome to Miracles In Progress family. There's a lot of support, sharing and caring the NA way that I've found here, and at other online NA groups. Keep coming back.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
There are many unwritten rules that members create according to their own sense of personal morality in NA. I heard/read a member share recently (I do not recollect where and who shared) "Do not go by the unwritten rules, focus on what is written in our literature to know what NA program is all about." The rest is just a personal mis-informed opinion of individual members that some of us tend to project as NA's stand...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Well it is good that you have sober addicts to talk to. Maybe now people would be more accepting than before. I had the opposite happen once. A man at a certain meeting continually hit on me and when I did not respond to him in the manner he wanted he then in front of everyone made fun of me. Everyone in the room laughed at his school boy insult. I never went back to that meeting. At that piont it was not healthy for me to continue going to that meeting. I am willing to travel farther to go to a meeting where I feel comfortable at than attend that one again.
Because of this resentment, I stopped going to meetings. I do have friends in recovery, and my husband is in recovery, so I have sober addicts to talk to. But I miss the program. I just don't want to feel judged. 
? If you look at this a little closer, I think that you'll find a bit ego at work. 
Remember that "we have to let go of our old ideas absolutely". 
