this girl I had befriended that I met in the hospital I had been letting her hangout at my house this weekend thought I could trust her come to find out she was stealing medicine from me both for pain control and for mental health I busted her for it thank god or I would be in a world of hurt my first instinct was to let it slide which I am glad I did not I involved the police as soon as I said that my pills magically appeared my deal is how do you know who to trust these days???? I isolate so to let someone around me is not easy in the first place and when I do I get burned
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
well trust is something that should be earned over a period of time. I also have to look at who are my potential for trust. In meetings the women who has 17 years is probably more trust worthy than the person picking up a white key tag. You know it takes a lot for me to trust but in the beginning I had to trust someone enough to share with. This ended up being a professional, eventually after tons of meetings and lots of hanging out. I begain to trust a select few women. The process was that I listen to how they talked about other, how they talked about themselves, and what they were doing in recovery. It was a lengthy process but today i've got many women who i trust and a bunch that i don't and thats ok. For me anyone i met in detox, or psyhc wards were as sick as me, and really i couldn't be trusted.
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people who mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind- Dr. Seuss
Do you have a sponsor? If not get one build that trust with her first. Then gain trust in the people she introduces you too. I don't trust easily. I have to put a little bit of bs out there make them think it is real and then see if it get's back around. Once it gets back around I know who to trust and who not to trust at certain times in my life.
God puts into my life the things or people he wants in my life. He may put someone wonderful , caring and trustworthy. On the other hand he may put someone in who is not wonderful. Who cant be trusted and cares for nobody but themselves. From the first person God wants to help me restore my faith in humans. He wants to show me how it can be for me if I do his will every day. Knowing these people instills in me that a spiritual path will see me through. From the second person God shows me ME. This is what it was like. God shows me I need forgiveness and compassion. He also shows me I'm learning right from wrong. That I can forgive myself . That's not to say I let everything slide. God has shown I can forgive AND still hold you accountable for your actions. Which in turn lets me be accountable for mine. I am powerless over the people God brings to me. But I trust that they are all in my life for a purpose. I really don't need to understand that purpose. I do know my God is loving and wants the best for Anthony. My HP will not send anyone for any reason other than my benefit in the end. Stay in the positive and the positive will find you.
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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .
that is really profound ty so much for your input I needed to hear that I have had one hell of a week and used on top of that feel like shit for it but now I am accountable thanx again
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
Some where in the book it tells us that we'll get tired of feeling the way we do after using, guess thats where the Sick and tired of being sick and tired comes from.
I keep my valuables locked in a safe, I trust no man/woman or child I dont even trust my cats LOL they want to suck the breathe out of me while sleeping.
I am only new to this and 6 months clean but I agree with the other members find people who are older cleaners and hang out with them, I am gradually building the first friendships with women that I have ever had through this program and to trust you must accept the possibility of getting hurt, people aren't perfect but eventually there is a silver lining to that cloud...Best wishes with your recovery...
Sorry to move away from the topic and the member's concerns here on this thread, and go off-topic...
But I could relate with what was shared just above. I have observed from my own experiences that where there is genuine care and concern, love and affection, from others towards me, there are chances of feeling hurt there at times, this has been a part of the process of opening up to others for me, allowing myself to be vulnerable with others once in a while.
During much of my active addiction and in my early recovery, whenever I was expecting someone to never hurt me at all, I realized that what I was actually looking for is someone who can fix everything that I feel is wrong with myself, within me, and thus make me feel good about myself always... I realized that I felt a need to control people in such a way that they do for me what I cannot do for myself - which is having to acknowledge and own my part in order to be able to do my inside job
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
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