Hi my name is kattie, and by the Grace of God, I have 1yr and 7mos. clean. I would like to know if anybody out there is, or ever experienced liking a person that you know is not being honest with you. One min. they like you and 2 min. later they're acting funny with you as if they don't want to be bothered. The sad part is you have no evidence that they're maybe someone else, but you know something is just not right. Talk to me somebody!!!
Well Kattie my problem is paranoia and lack of trust in others, that's me.
I would say take an inventory of the situation, weight everything out does this person hurt you in any way, could your imagination be running wild, is what you feel happening really happening and if so why? talk with this person and share what your feeling if there really a friend they will discuss it with you you may find this person is or isn't a real friend.
Also meditate on this, seek a higher answer then your own spend some time just closing out everything and turning it over to your higher power and see what you get back, I usually spend between 15-30 minutes sometimes even more meditating on things bothering me I sometimes find answers or just come to some sort of peace with them, worth trying it's a suggestion I took and a tool I use.
I would rather go by my own feelings for the other, whether I like/love him/her or not... I've found it much easier to follow my own heart in context of others than to get lost in the never-ending obsession of whether the other likes/loves me or not... When I like/love a person, I like/love that person, period. If my liking/loving another depends on how the other reciprocates to me, then I have found that to be nothing about the other but more about my own self... maybe self-centeredness or codependency manifesting in varying ways?
Moreover, all that matters to me most of the times is whether I like/love myself as I am and if I believe my Higher Power loves me and accepts as I am. As long as I am convinced about this, I'm ok with others and in my relationships with others. How the other feels about me, how much or how little he/she loves me etc. are all beyond my power. I'm powerless over these aspects. Of course, it always helps anyone when another shows affection and appreciation for what each one of us is, as one of our JFT reading says, but I find it futile to live on others' approval... it's like the old days for me if I try to venture into figuring such aspects in others - where a person becomes my drug and their love/approval/admiration for me becomes my high.
Just my personal experiences while working the program on my issues... thought I could share
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Hey Kattie. I once dated someone for a year and a half who acted one minute they loved me next minute they were a royal asshole to me and come to find out they had numerous ppl on the side. If this is how the begining of the relationship is... thats a red flag. Because if you get involved with someone who is hot and cold it can just put you all over the map emotionally. That was my own personal experience.
