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NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> What can I do for my child?
Post Info TOPIC: What can I do for my child?
angel4athena


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What can I do for my child?
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My daughter has been using heroin and was in rehab for 8 days and then signed herself out AMA.  She was on short term disability from work in order to get clean and to start her recovery, but now she say's she wants to keep using!  I am at my wits end with her. She is 22 and needs to clean herself up and grow up.  She blames every one but herself.  She say's "At least I am honest about wanting to keep using!"  How is that supposed to make me feel? Better?  My husband and I are numb and want advise on what to do with her.  I love her so much I feel like I am going to love her to death!no

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trueakitalover


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Hello,

The one thing I suggest is to tell her that if she continues to loose tell her all of the things she can loose if she continues. But you are willing to continue helping her out if she goes back to treatment. You need to tough love her make the bottom come to her before it needs to. I really had that happen and it helped, but then I conned myself and everyone around me and got back into the house and started using again but I have found recovery again and am determined to stay in it now and forever.

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BigV


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You can get support for yourself and your husband at Alanon

http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42727


Thats another board MIP has for support for familys of addict please visit and got to live meetings in your area.

I will pray for your daughter and ask Gods will be done in her life , many of us have gotten through our using times and survived so keep that hope alive Mom, direct her to NA if you can but mostly get some help for yourselves and get some support you may get sage advice on how to handle this in your lives to be better help to your daughter.

God Bless

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angel4athena


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Thank you for the link. I appreciate your kind words.
God Bless

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DeanC


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Hi Angel,
Your daughter has been an adult for years now.  She is responsible for her life and the consequences of her choices, or is she?  If she is living with you, you need to have her move out (and don't provide assistance other than putting her stuff on the curb and changing the locks on your house).  Most addicts will NOT recover until they hit some bottoms in life (physical, mental, financial, social...).  If you're "helping" her in any way, while she continues to use,  you are just helping her use drugs, and in essence, killling her.  Eventually she will do what she wants to do and prolonging that process will just put off her recovery and make her more of an addict from prolonged use.  It's a hard choice but the reasoning behind it, is solid.  Getting help for yourself is something that you can do.  This a great program as well.   http://www.codependents.org/

-- Edited by DeanC at 07:52, 2008-12-26

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AnthonyG


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Yep, everything everyone said. Its time for the entire family to grow up. Your daughter is addicted to dope and your addicted to your daughter. 

 One of the toughest things a parent can ever do it let thier children go.

 Help her get into treatment , other than that dont do anything. No money. No help with rent or food or utilities. Dont even accept phone calls unless its to discuss treatment.

 Its time to let go and let God. The good news is shes really young, the opportunities to recover are tremendous. The bad news is shes really young. She may not be close to her bottom.

 Wishing you the very best. You may not be aware , but in thousands of meetings daily all over the world , addicts meet and pray for the " still suffering addict ."

  Praying for you and yours.
  Anthony G

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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .

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angel4athena


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Thank you for your words that I know in my heart I need to let go!  It is the hardest thing I have ever done!  I feel like I will send her to her doom, but in reality I know she will do what she wants whhether I like it or not!  I am going to go to the link you gave me and find the aprropriate help that I know I need.  Many thanks to you and Many prayers for all that are ill and all that are in recovery also!!

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angel4athena


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Thank you for your prayers Anthony.....I pray for everyone as well.  I am not well anymore. It is makeing me physically ill and mentally too! I need help and I know I can only change me and know one else.  Let go and Let God are the wise words to live by!

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DeanC


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angel4athena wrote:

Thank you for your prayers Anthony.....I pray for everyone as well.  I am not well anymore. It is makeing me physically ill and mentally too! I need help and I know I can only change me and know one else.  Let go and Let God are the wise words to live by!


Angel,  you can let go with the faith that God can and will help your daughter when it's time for her to seek him.  And she will seek him, but she need's to acquire the Gifts of desparation and willingness, that only loneliness, fear, and impending doom will bring. 

  Just smile and say I'll always  love you, you're a big girl and you know where to get help.  Let me know when your getting it, otherwise I don't need to hear about your difficulties, that are of your own choosing. 

In the mean time,  You have a life to Live.  A life full of peace, joy, and happiness of your own to persue.  Life is short, make yours the best by taking excellent care of yourself.  Surround your self with people that love and care about you.  Your job as a parent is over.  Celebrate that.  You did the best that you can do.  Now move on and enjoy the rest of your life.  Don't you have a retirement to prepare for?  smile.gif

Dean

 



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tommy s.


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God, grant us the SERENITY, to accept the things we cannot change, COURAGE to change the things we can, and the WISDOM to know the DIFFERANCE! I love recovering heroin addicts! They seem to be some of the nicest people I've met. The others are right. You have to let go! I was enabled, and damn near died. A high bottom addict I've been called, but a gun in my mouth was not a very high point to me. And if she gets that far, she may be less chicken than I was. Good luck and God bless!

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AnthonyG


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LOL Tommy, I never heard " high bottom addict " before.  But if you ended up with a gun in your mouth , maybe you were just a " really fast learner."

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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .

                         Yasutani Roshi
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