I am an alcoholic and also extremely codependent addicted to a man who loves me but is not "in love" with me. Anyway, he is on oxycontin and also has Hep C. Like I mentioned in an earlier post saw him this weekend. I was drinking and he was using. Anyway, he looked awful- a little jaundice, threw up several times, skinny. We recently had 2 mutual friends overdose on pills and I am obsessed that this is going to happen to him. I know that I cannot effectively help his as I have issues of my own, but I have tried my best to let him know if he wants to quit I would do anything to help. When he was in jail 4 months ago told me he would never pick up an oxy again- to no avail. Anyway, I find myself upset with his parents and I am ashamed of that. His brother also have addiction to pills. The same brother his parents bought a house for and his wife- while P is homeless. Brother just went to rehab for 10,000 dollars which has never been offered to P. P's mother says he is just a social user- go figure. I left her a message today telling her how bad I think he looks but I know this will also just be downplayed when she talks to him. I so feel in my heart that he is close to death and feel this huge responsibility to "save" him. Guess I just wanted to hear from you all if there is something that can be done to bring someone back from the brink or if this is something he really has to do for himself. I guess I feel sorry for him like he hasn't go a fair deal. Though I know with my addiction to him and alcohol I can personally do him no good as I can't maintain boundaries for myself much less for him- that fact alone makes me feel guilty and ashamed. Thanks for letting me share. I am active on the Alanon site but find again and again that I am drawn to the other sites as well as my issues seem to have many layers. haha
Codependent, using drugs (and/or smoking, drinking) on top of hep C Will kill you, and it doesn't take that long. IMO you're killing him by enabling him and it's time to leave. It's an unhealthy relationship anyway and there's next to no chance (1 in a million) of you getting sober while staying in it. Eventually he dies and then you have the luxury of playing victim over it and drinking for several more decades feeling sorry for yourself.
I'm sorry to paint such a bleak picture, but I've seen this movie a dozen times and it always ends the same way. Btw, I've known about my hep C for 19 years (as long as I've been sober) and I've also know several dozen people who have died from it, including one very great musician friend who died last month. It's time to leave and tell him to quit killing himself. He needs to get clean and see a doctor and get on chemo with alpha interferon.
