I was saying the 3rd step prayer last night and it hit me. When I was at my bottome I was 7 months pregnant with my 5th child. Homeless and hungry. Yet all I could manage to do was get high. None of my other kids were with me.
I remember one day I asked God to just take my life. I didn't want to live anymore. But God has something different planned for me. And though I didn't ask God to take my will He did. The next day I mindlessly picked up the phone and called a sober living. Arranged for the grandparents of the child I was carrying to come get me. And was on my way to Barstow CA. On the way I had them stopping here and there to gather my belongings and at everyhouse I asked if anybody had anything. No, Sorry, I'm waiting on the guy, just smoked the last bowl... were the answers I got. I truly believe this was a God thing. Cause from the moment I through up my hands and God to take me I have not picked up. That was May 09, 2007.
I gave birth to Zachary (he's the one in the picture) July 21 2007 with no worries of CPS. And 3 and half months ago gave birth to Tyler. Tyler was first pregnancy that I went through completely clean and sober.
