I don't know if its really a " love " everybody as much as its an " accept " everybody.
  We try to practice tolerance towards our fellow addicts and accept them for what they are. Some as you have found out, are sicker than others.
  Do I trust everyone in the program ? Hell no. Does that make my program weak ? Hell no.
  As we get cleaner we accept life on its terms, We accept responsibility for our own actions. And in turn we expect others to do the same. Some do. and some don't.
  We can only be responsible to ourselves. Part of the responsibility of taking care of us is to trust instincts that may not be entirely broken by our using. I think addicts in general have a pretty good sense of who's bad and who's ok. We get ripped off on occasion , but overall , we know.
  I spoke to an older member who knew I was struggling with this issue. The " love everyone" part of spirituality does NOT say let every person make a schmuck of you. We are not poor little waifs that let everyone run us over. At least not anymore.
  Thanks for putting this out honey Bear. Its a great topic that touches on the day to day living of our new spiritual life.
  Im looking forward to what some of our more learned old timers say about it.
 

Great thread, Honey Bear. I can only share my understanding and experience and it's not real simple, so please try to bear with me.

For me, recovery is about spiritual growth. Step one in IWH&W talks about how "...our future depends on our willingness to grow spiritually." The core of the disease is self-obsession- that extreme self-centeredness. Working the steps and living a life based in spiritual principles facilitates spiritual growth that moves me along a path away from the self-centeredness of the disease toward God-centeredness and service to others. For a long time I thought that Spiritual growth was the goal, simply for these reasons. As I kept coming and growing my understanding changed. Today, I believe that the reason spiritual growth is vital is that I MUST learn how to love.
If anyone had asked me when I got here if I loved myself, I would have said, "of course." The reality was that I didn't even know what love was. How could I love myself and continue to try to destroy myself with dope? And if I couldn't love me, I most certainly couldn't love anyone else.
The reason I belive that Love is the Ultimate Goal of step work and all Spiritual Growth is because that's what step 12 is ALL about. When I carry this message to addicts, I'm truly loving others. When I practice these principles in all my affairs, I'm truly loving myself.
No, I don't believe that "Love" means that I trust every addict I meet and allow them access to my home, family, and resources. But for me, what it does mean is that I try not to judge too harshly and try to "practice" compassion, tolerance, patience, and understanding for that still suffering addict. As has been mentioned practice doesn't necessarily mean "feel." If I ACT compassionate, I will TREAT that person with compassion, even if I don't FEEL it. Compassion makes it possible for me to love the person, but not their behavior.

Please keep in mind that this is just one addicts point of view. I encourage you to keep growing, keep asking questions, and above all, keep working steps, for by this you will come to your OWN understanding. Again, thanks for the post and thanks for letting me share.

P.S.--The twelve basic spiritual principles outlined in step 12 of the text includes "unconditional love, caring and sharing." Caring can be the passive expression of unconditional love, and sharing the active expression.

-- Edited by dan h at 00:47, 2008-12-11

-- Edited by dan h at 00:50, 2008-12-11

Some where it does say we have to let the family of NA love us until we can start loving ourselves, it's a process I have found myself in I did not know how to truly love anyone or anything including myself when I came here, I am begining to learn and understand just what it takes to love myself and in turn love others, but I'm just a mean SOB and its taking a long time .

I red a beautiful proverb in an ashram once . It read
LOVE ALL AND SERVE ALL .
This simply means to me that as I grow spiritually there will always be place for more
love and more service.
Yes I also few experience sin recovery where in trying to help out another suffering addict i was left with backbiting,missing money, conned money and slander.
I was initially hurt but later on came to believe that what i thought was helping was actually the disease runnning my life.
I was actually trying to control these addict thinking that I could lead them in the right direction. Even thats not a bad motive,,simply didnt work because I wasnt a good example of selfless love and unexpecting service myself.
I now believe in an adage that its good to give only until it hurts.
If the giving/sharing is hurtin me,hurting the other or both then thats got to stop,rigt now.
We are asked in the 10th Step Inventory if we gave of ourself without expecting anything in return ? And that I believe is a measure of how far I can give.i have to give till I begin to expect,and obviously I cannot give what I myself havent got.
To live is to love and I feel very good about the attitude to love all and serve all as far as it goes.
WhenevEr Ive lived out that motto,,IVE HAD FULLFILLED,SATISFYING,SERENE DAYS,,

And Shannon,,thanks for starting this fab thread.
In fact the other day,God put me in a place where I saw ideals ibecome action.
The scene is like this=
Im coming out of the building after seeing my marks in a certain paper.
Ive just failed. I am hurt,angry and confused. My hate is directed towards the lecturer who I found boring,tight lipped and tricky.
Well that afternoon as I come out of the building there he stands.
He sees me and says
"Thanks for coming to the lecture".  There had been only 10 of 150 in that lecture,,obviously a boycott.
I say "Thats all right".
That sentence had nothing to do with how I was feeling then but it set me right too.
I believ that was a response based on Intutive Goodness and empathy.
In that  exact moment<id forgiven and also understood that theres always chances to catch up in the next exam and not fuss over or be obssessed about the failure.

You know the thing  about the two dogs.?
Ones called hate and the other is called love.
Both are big,well built good-line dogs.
the difference is that hate looks really scary,,mouth dripping with saliva,,red bloodshot eyes etc.
Love looks tough ,well muscled, and solid. but theres an innate air of serenity there.
The one that I feed grows and I may well not be able to feed both.
the most important thing is in feeding the Love-dog,,I can be certain that love wont turn against me but think of the hate dog,,I can feed it well, and get it to be more mean,scary etc. but can i be sure Hate wont want to devour me too or devour me first ?
This Program reminds me that I have real choices ,,just for today I choose the path of love and affection.

-- Edited by Raman at 05:41, 2008-12-14

\ha,ha,,practical wisdom wins the day eh Dave ?

Fab Judy,,,Love Back to you too !!!