Man had a really powerful dream of my mom this morning: I was asleep and I dreamed of my mom and her best friend named Aunt Ione, my nephew Joshua was all in it at once. The dream went like this: My mom said she wanted a picture of all 4 of us. So she said I want to take a picture of all 4 of us. It was her, me, my Aunt Ione, and my Nephew Joshua in the back of us. She took the picture and, She said Shannon are you not going to give me a hug? I said yes I am going to give you a hug! I went over and she just grabbed me really hard and I said mom I am afraid I am going to hurt you, she said don't worry about that I don't feel any pain at all. I guess either I hugged her so hard or she hugged me so hard that my shoulder was hurting me. She said Shannon I have to go now, I said mom one question really quick she said the answer before I could ever ask it: She said Shannon I was never mad or angry at you for what you did or how you turned out. You only knew how to deal with your problems the way you did. She said I am around you even when you don't realize it at all. I was like but mom wait I am not done she was like Shannon I have to go back now. i was like mom are you ever around me she said I am around more than you know right now. I then woke up crying from this dream and just saying no don't leave again. I still have this pain in my shoulder area and I don't know why. I cried and cried and cried and cried and can't stop crying. Then my dumb disease is trying to get in the middle of my peace and say you can celebrate this great time you can get one more run. I am not listening to this stupid disease of mine. I am writing about it. I don't want to loose more encounters of this type if I do use. Man my sponsor said pray for God to help you to forgive yourself and it was powerful for this to happen to me today. I am grateful that I have found a little of that peace right now in my life.
wow! very interesting dream....i have dreams like that and found out it is not uncommon in the program for people to get a gift from spirit or whatever u want to call it. the shoulder thing u mention caught my attention cause in my case i have trouble processing emotions, it gets stuck in my body and grief is stored in my shoulders....allowing the emotion of grief is hard...it does trigger the addict in me and i need to stay hooked in to my close friends and as usual im so grateful for the just for today thing...cause i wont pick up today and trust in the process today and my higher power loves me and knows what its doing, cause i sure dont! lol.. 24 to u and i will take one myself
Yes, it was just amazing I have a sense of relief cause I was feeling some guilt about bein in active addiction when my mom was so ill and not being there and her telling me she wasn't mad and that she understood why I had done what I did and understood it was the only way for me to deal with my problmes at that time. She was letting me know that she accepted me for what I was and to let me know that I need to allow myself to forgive myself. Funny thing is my sponsor strongly suggested that I pray for God to allow me to forgive myself and I do believe it happened through my dream. I feel like I did last month when I went over my 1st step with my sponsor. Man I love this program if it keeps giving me gifts like this in my life.
That's a very clairvoyant dream Shannon, a truly cleansing and liberating one indeed, thanks for sharing.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
My God,,what a share. In fact it brings memories of early days in recovery and the situation i was in then. I never hd courage to admit the desire to use because it usually landed us inmates in some form of rouble in that treatment centre. So they stayed as hidden desires we were too scared to share even with each other,,due to the fear of betrayl. Now about my father= I believe he did "visitations" for nearly 3 years after he died. the mos vivid was when he sat at the foot of my bed,,smiling at me. He really was there that nite. Although the "visitations" ar long past now,,Ican still feel his Powerful Prescence now and then,,,,may his soul rest in peace.
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Now about my father= I believe he did "visitations" for nearly 3 years after he died. the mos vivid was when he sat at the foot of my bed,,smiling at me. He really was there that nite. Although the "visitations" ar long past now,,Ican still feel his Powerful Prescence now and then,,,,may his soul rest in peace.
Thanks for sharing that Raman, that is so very true for me too, I do feel a powerful presence of my father at times, as if he is talking with me, telling something to me, especially on the day of his death, when I was driving to the airport to fly to him, I could feel him in the car very strongly, until I acknowledged his presence, and then uttered these words that I am supposed to say when a loved one passes away "Everything comes from Him, and to Him everything has to return." At that moment, it seemed like I no more felt his presence inside the car, as if he has left. I still feel overwhelmed when I recollect this experience.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
You know I just started my grieving process and it is only through this process that I am feeling this stuff. I was told to pray about forgiving myself and it was like it happened even better for me. My mom will visit again and I know it. I am in the midst of three grieving processes all at once and that shit really sucks. I am grieving my mom;'s death, The lost of a very tight relationship with a minister that I have known for 10 years or so of my life. He left our church to retire. The interim pastor that is temporary right now said to feel the pain,grief, anger about this and not to discard it. Then I am grieving of a lost relationship of my ex boyfriend a year ago exactly today. Sooo I am really confused about who I am grieving for at times but then there are time's I know it is all three and it does become overwhelming for me at times like this past weekend.
