yea I made the decision to finally take the first step I have been in relapse since Febuary but still posted because NA is all I have ever know for the past 20 years my life has been disrupted by me smoking pot and I don't do drama so I am not suprised at the repercussions of my actions I lost visitations of my son and on the holidays at that so life is really sucking right now. I have to have surgery Friday morning on my kidney so all the thoughts I can get I would be grateful 4
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Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. Og Mandino
takes courage to be honest. hang in there. you are in my prayers. i did not relapse by using drugs but i sure messed my life up pretty good since the end of septmber. my daughter is in colorado and i am now living with my mom in new mexico. it looked like a homeless shelter, the streets or my mom. so while i don't get to see my daughter i have to hang onto the fact that i am alive and clean. she is safe, healthy and happy with her dad (who is a normie). this too shall pass. i just have to keep telling myself to do the next right thing and leave the results up to my higher power.
don't beat yourself up Manon. You came back. You are sucking air.
Man last night at a meeting a young lady was totally upset with herself, for the fact that she had taken cough medicine and it was not prescribed to her at all. She took it and the night before she had just picked her 90 day tag up the night before. Man I knew and felt her pain. It was an honest mistake but, when we don't use the tools we are given we can mess anything up that we have in our lives. I am glad that you came back alive manon, You are not alone we are all here for you with and ready to hold your hand through our journeys in this process called recovery. I know how hard it is to admit that you relapsed but you humbled yourself and Thank God you made it back for another day alive and to try this process all over again.
I have no idea why we never talk about wanting to get high.
CASE IN POINT
I was in so much PAIN over the THANKSGIVING weekend. MY ONE WISDOM TOOTH is coming in. THANK GOODNESS I have "dental Insurance"
I was managing well with oral gel and tylnol sorry for the spelling. I am working my steps, I do have a sponsor, I attend meetingsregularly , and I AM INVOLVED TOO.
However when pain hit my mouth all I could think of was how the hell cn I get rid of it quick!
I wanted to get a bottle of anything to drink......( I HEARD IN MY HEAD>>>>ALCHOL IS A DRUG)
I wanted to cop some percets.........Than I heard in my head and now I know why...( I AM MAKING NEW ASSOCIATIONS PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT USING AND WHO HAVE FOUND A NEW WAY OF LIFE)
I called my sponsor told her how much pain I was in... That night I made it to my meeting still in pain but I didnt loose my time but thispoor guy did who had close to 2 years
Just2Day wrote:Manon, You did great! You came back and that is all that matters.
Yup, that's all that matters, no matter what, we keep coming back, I witnessed it even today when a couple of my ex-sponsees who had gone back to using showed up at the meeting, expressing that they don't wanna do it alone, that they can't do it alone, and they intend to make meetings everyday again, what a miracle to witness, gave me so much of strength and hope just to hear that from these 2 today... Perhaps, 'keep coming back' is our greatest strength that NA makes possible in our lives...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
