My name is Steve. I've been recovering for four years now on my own. I had a bad addiction to meth. My solution was to pick up and move hundreds of miles from my home town. I wound up volunterring my time. This all worked out good for me. The problem I'm haveing now and could use some advice on is this, I want to go back to work doing what I used to do. I called my former employers and can't get a good refrence. What do I do about that. I'm ready to start my life back again and can't figure out how to do it. Thanks all of you and I wish you well on your journy down lifes path.
I'm not really good with giving advice, as I mentioned in another post, but after reading your problem a couple things popped into my mind: can you put "references available upon request" on your application/resume? Perhaps a former co-worker could help refer you.
Also, when in doubt, be honest. If an employer asks about your references, simply tell the truth. You have experience doing such and such, but due to your past behaviors (which you've changed over the past 4 years) you are unable to obtain a reference from that former employer. Many employers will and do sympathize or empathize with having a sordid past. They just want reassurance that you'll work well for them. It's pretty much selling yourself...you have to get them to want you to work for them. Honesty is a good trait to have in an employee, and if nothing else, they'll respect that.
**This advice brought to you by the letter C, and this unemployed drug addict.**
-- Edited by ItsAllGolden at 22:06, 2008-11-05
__________________
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~Oscar Wilde~
That seems like some pretty good advice to me. I'll try it out. Sorry if it takes me awhile to responde. I can't get to a computer at the meeting times on this site. It may take awhile but I will respond. Again thanks for the advice.
No problem, there are days I don't even log on at a time.
Hope something works out for you SteveO...and thanks for sharing your experience with moving hundreds of miles away...made me feel less alone that's for sure.
__________________
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~Oscar Wilde~
I was reading some of Golden's recent posts and was compelled to reply but figured, ah maby not. Some times I think that what I have to say is'nt real important. Then I got to this post Stevo and realized, well maby I will. Anyway,
I like what Big V shared when he Quoted the third step in a reply to one of Goldens posts, We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. For me it is important to understand what the words will and life mean. My understanding of these words is pretty simple,
Will = My Thinking Life = My actions
We've heard it said that God dos'nt close one door without opening another. The big problem for me seems to be FINDING THE OTHER FREAKIN DOOR!!!! Im mean wear is it anyway? And why does it seem to be such a damb challenge to find it? The answer for me is that I make it harder than it has to be. I forget the simple meaning of those 2 words, will and life. My THINKING and my ACTIONS are what I need to turn over to the CARE of God as I understand him. When I can effectivly do this I find that is is much easier to find the other door. Actually what happens is that I allow God to show it to me instead of tring to find it.
I find that if I just hang on and dont give up 5 seconds before the miricle happens, the blessings that I recieve on the other side of the issue are beyond measure. The things I learn and the experiance I gain all add up to how I can help others in the future. If I just dont give up the pain, the fear, and the uncertainty are never for nothing.
__________________
It sure is eazier to get through the moment than it is to get through the aftermath.
ANJ, you never know, what you may share might be the exact thing someone needs to hear...SO SHARE DANG IT~!! LOL Don't allow that disease to say your thoughts aren't important enough to share...and thank you for your reply.
I'm a hard headed, slow addict, so many times I need to hear or read) something again and again and again. But that's just me.
__________________
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~Oscar Wilde~
We've heard it said that God dos'nt close one door without opening another. The big problem for me seems to be FINDING THE OTHER FREAKIN DOOR!!!! Im mean wear is it anyway? And why does it seem to be such a damb challenge to find it? The answer for me is that I make it harder than it has to be. I forget the simple meaning of those 2 words, will and life. My THINKING and my ACTIONS are what I need to turn over to the CARE of God as I understand him. When I can effectivly do this I find that is is much easier to find the other door. Actually what happens is that I allow God to show it to me instead of tring to find it.
Well put ANJ, thanks for sharing that simple interpretations for "Will" and "Life" for this addict who tends to complicate simple things so that I can have trouble/problem/confusion/situations - the familiar 'high's that this addict thrives on... lol...
Also, what you shared above finding direction is very true. I also believe that my Higher Power does give me a direction, willing to show it for me, the question is, whether I am willing to look around and find it or do I turn a blind-eye because the despair and hopelessness seems more appealing, something that I'm more comfortably used to from my using days
Today, when I admit and accept the fact that I don't know what to do and open my mind and turn it all over to my Higher Power, my Higher Power's direction is very clear for me - do an inventory on the issue to see where I stand, seek guidance from the fellowship/Sponsor, work towards reaching a point of surrender again so that my Higher Power removes whatever's blocking me from embracing the path that has been laid for me by my Higher Power, make my peace with the situation/issue, be vigilant while treading on the new direction that is shown as I work through this process and continue to stay in this process Just For Today.
As a result, the program does show, place and take me through my Higher Power's loving and caring will and direction for me. I just need to work the remainder of the Steps after I have made the decision to turn over my thinking and my actions, to use ANJ's expression
Many times, I've realized that what I think "should be" or "must be" I mistake that to be my Higher Power's will for me. I limit the extent I open up my mind to my Higher Power's direction by moralizing, rationalizing and what not, and I do all this with the help of my mind which is sick and in control of my addiction... lol... Whenever, I had been able to work the program on a situation/crisis in my recovery, I have discovered that the help and the solution that my Higher Power provided for me was from unexpected source, beyond what my rational, limited and sick mind could possibly comprehend!
Today, I realize that I carry a lot of dysfunctional and misinformed perceptions that I still believe are very good 'moral' principles. These deceptive principles became a part of me due to my defective coping skills that I picked up while growing up and while using. I did not realize that some of these 'morals' and 'values' that I genuinely thought of as my strong points were actually my defects, a subtle manipulation of my addiction where my ego, my pride and justification get a free ride as a result. I did my Fourth and then the Fifth with my Sponsor. All such masks broke down, they were exposed for what they really are. When I look with the new eyes that working this program has gifted me, then, it's not too difficult to see what my Higher Power wants for me in a particular situation/context. I still try to pretend that I don't see, but pretending not to see seems more difficult than to admit that I do see this spiritual truth.
__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Thanks for sharing that Tahir, As I read the last paragraph of your post I am reminded that somewhere in our text it says, Everything we know is subject to revision - Especially what we know about the truth.
Thanks for sharing that. Makes me feel a little more normal, a little more part of, a little more "at home"
__________________
It sure is eazier to get through the moment than it is to get through the aftermath.
Exactly ANJ, and moreover, I've come to discover that truth is subjective at times, what might be my truth is not necessarily another's truth too sometimes. And even the truth that is revealed to me by my Higher Power keeps evolving and expanding, like what has worked for me at one point of my recovery might not be compatible at another stage of my recovery due to the changing circumstances... Maybe 'truth' simply IS, just our understanding, awareness and perceptions of the truth differ, vary and evolve, just like what the Basic Text says above in the quotation
__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
You gave me about the best advice anyone ever has. I filled out one online ap just to see if I would get a responce. Well, not only did I get one I got HIRED!!!! I THANK YOU SO MUCH. I really hope things get better for you to. Keep this in mind. If it was't for you, my life would still be the same as it was last week. I'm sitting here with a frog in my throat thinking about it all. Imagine, a stranger doing so much for another stranger. Thanks again. I'll have to move hundreds of miles again, but this time I'm running to something instead of from something. YOU opened a door in my mind that was closed before. I honestly wish I could do the same for you.
