I am an addict my name is dave m. i could kick my self in the head. Why can't I get it right?? I just don't know what to do?? I am not lying to myself but I am to ....... I fea lthe helplessness. I am afraid. What do I do now??
YOu read page 72 Relapse and Recovery chapter over and over and you realize that you survived to live and try another day.
You pull your boot straps up and dont beat yourself over the head your a freaken addict man and thats what many of us have done over and over again and until you get sick and tired, absolutely fed the F up with the results, then you surrender and ask for help and do what the program SUGGEST you do.
It takes what it takes Dave dont give up yet get pissed off at it and then take resposnsibilty for it which means TAKE ACTION. You also have to learn to surrender it up to a higher power and turn the gad damn thing over to it/him/her/them whatever, its bigger then you are it's time to find something bigger then it, for me it was God and the fellowship of NA and the program of spirituality and FAITH faith that theres something there to take this burden off your shoulders, works for me it might work for you too.
Why can't I get it right?? I just don't know what to do?? What do I do now??
Dear Dave, you don't have to get it all right all at once, that's ok, just DON'T GET IT WRONG
You say that you don't know what to do, so don't pick up then...
It has been my personal experience that I had to reach a point of complete helplessness and despair before I could reach out and start digging for some hope from somewhere and someone - the fellowship and the program of NA.
Just stay clean Just For Today and make a NA meeting everyday. Within a few weeks, I'm sure you'll start getting to know what to do, at long last
Keep coming back, we need you, NA Hugs.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
We ask ourselves what drove us to do some of the things we did? We went to extremes even when we knew our actions were not rational. Still today, we are drawn to extremes. At times we still long for things that we know will hurt us. Are we puzzled by these desires?
Wise men and prophets have searched their own deep truths to understand their desires and longings. Many say that our desires and hungers are, at the base of our being, a search for a spiritual home, a place where we know we are welcome, safe, and loved. Perhaps we are all born longing for that home. Maybe we first taste it when we first experience the warmth of loving and caring parents, even when it was only a taste, and only partially satisfied. Then we spend the rest of our lives in pursuit of that good feeling again.
The wisdom of the Twelve Steps points us toward that spiritual home, a lifetime of growth and development follows in which we feel the spirit in our fellowship with other men and women, and we learn from others how they have found their way home.
Today the stirring in my heart will be a sign of my spiritual longing.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
