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Post Info TOPIC: Frustrated


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Frustrated


So my allergies have been driving me crazy so I took a Benedryl last night. As soon as it kicked in I started thinking how good it felt and I went right back to that altered state baloney where I think hey I wonder what two would feel like?  Or three?  Didnt take any more but as soon as I woke up this AM I was thinking about it.  Now I realize I cant even have them in the house. Its so frustrating. Im really pissed that I have done this to myself.  I mean I cant even take a regular over the counter med without bringing my whole bunch of crazy to the table.  Sigh.cry

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even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you --Psalm 139


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Don't feel bad, benedryl is actually pretty strong. I got stung by honets, wasps and bees 4 times this summer while cutting down tress on my mountain property. So I had to take benedryl. It knocked me  weirdface out and my affected area (sting) still swells somewhat. I don't enjoy it and I don't obsess about it. At this point even advil puts me to sleep.

-- Edited by DeanC at 12:34, 2008-10-07

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Yes antihistamines alter the way you feel.  They are not in the same class as the kinds of drugs "Mind altering" refers to.  Its apples and oranges.  I'm not telling you to take benadryl or that you can't take benadryl in excess.  Just that benadryl is not like taking a narcotic, drinking alcohol, etc.

It seems the addict formula or equation we all have, "I feel better if I take _______" and fill in the blank, is still active in your life.  Its not so much WHAT you are able to take.  As long as that forumula exists in your mind, you will always find something.  In other words it isn't about the benadryl, its about YOU.

If that makes sense.

Also what I am trying to caution you about is over reacting.  Over reacting, being stimulus augmenters, is part of the addictive mindset, addict's behavior, that does exactly what you have demonstrated in your post.  We over react, we beat ourselves up based on that reaction-not the facts, we hurt, we want relief one way or the other.  The problem is that the hurt comes from the over reaction, NOT the facts.  Antihistamines do make you feel funny.  They are NOT mind altering in the same way as addictive substances.

You can use non-medicated Ocean Spray quite effectively to reduce nasal stuffiness.  Its basically salt water.  You can make your own, boil the water, add the salt, etc., but I find its just easier to buy the Ocean Spray at Walgreens.  Their generic brand is cheap.

Also see your doctor.  Many prescription non-drowsy, as in don't make you feel funny, antihistamine-antiallergy meds type products out there now.


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"I'm not well known outside of my cluster"


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I am to be real careful too cleltcgrrl it doesn't take much to trigger and obsession again, I cant take pain pills they set off stinkin thinkin, tweaky stuff does the same even to much coffee will get my head and addiction running so theres a line I dont cross, find an alternative for the alleriges.

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Hi, celtcgrrl,  you probly already know about this but ill throw it out there. honey comb..not the cereal but actual honey comb from a bee-keeper in YOUR area..its important that the honey and the comb come from the place where you live. the theory being ,the bees legs are full of alergens of all types, by eating a bite of comb per day, we overwhelm our bodies with the alergens and we produce more anti-alergens naturally. Its has worked for me many years.

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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .

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what Anthony says is the real deal that is what i do but i also went to the non sleepy formula of benadryl for some of the same reasons if you want clean bad enough you will stay clean
keep coming back
rocky


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 some of us win some of us lose with god and this program i will  be a winner


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Thanks for the alternatives!  I never heard of using honeycomb, but I do know where to get some locally.  I love that stuff, nice to hear it has a real use besides yumminess. 

I used to use a lot of alternative therapies, but once I got full swing into my thing I ditched them.  Pills were so much faster and had so many "fun" side effects.  Should have realized the Benedryl was a bad idea since I used it to come down so many times.  Got to learn to stop listening to the crazy hamsters in my brain.

-- Edited by celtcgrrl at 08:41, 2008-10-08

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even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you --Psalm 139


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celtcgrrl,  just don't let the experience derail your program.  Our disease is "cunning, baffling, and powerful".  It will use any way that it can to shame, guilt, anger, or scare you into using or drinking.  If you feel badly about anything, share it quickly with your sponsor and your home group, or at any meeting to disolve it before it blows up into a "big deal".  "there are no big deals"  except picking up a drug or a drink.

Dean

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There are options.  There is nothing healthy about grinning and bearing it.  I am of the opinion that the "grin and bear it and take nothing" mindset is as sick as the "take a pill everytime I am uncomfortable" mindset.  Flip sides of the same coin if you will and both are unhealthy mindsets.

That does not mean I am telling you to take benadryl.

There are options.  Options that take your addiction and your addict's mindset into account.  Part of the symptom we carry as addicts is I will take care of things myself.  So the "Grin and bear it" mindset is simply that.  It sounds honorable and commendable, "Good for you you aren't taking any medications..." BUT its still the result of an addict's mindset and is unhealthy.  That is because it is just more of "I, ME, MYSELF and I" will handle it on my own.  We get well when we surrender.  The act of submitting to something outside yourself is key to our healing process.

Real world example.  My shoulders hurt.  Part of why I took opiates and liked taking opiates is my shoulders.  Could I grin and bear it?  Sure.  Does that set me up for relapse?  Yes.  Not treating whatever is happening to our bodies that is "normal", is insanity.  So i went to my doctor, am going to a doctor who specializes in pain relief, goal is to get pain under control and NO opiates.  I take an anti-inflammatory, some supplements, acunpuncture, massage, heat, etc., stuff all working, all necessary to reduce the pain and discomfort. 

The grin and bear it take NO medications mindset is nothing more than a puffed up self ego that says "I can do this on my own without...."  And I'm sorry but as honorable and strong as that sounds, it is nothing more than the puffed up ME that is both part of our disease and what is the character defect we have to address.

If you have health issues, even allergies, there is nothing honorable about NOT going to your doctor, NOT seeing how it can be addressed in a way that reflects sanity. 

I will continue to caution you to not equate apples and oranges.  Again not telling you to take anything one way or the other.  Am asking you to consider keeping matters in context so you don't go down that road that ends up feeding the "hamsters" in your head.

Jim

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"I'm not well known outside of my cluster"


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Jim, I understand. I can probably get other meds that work and I'm cool with trying those too. I'd like to avoid taking pills at this point, since I'm so early in and everything is so hard. I just can't take Benedryl right now, that much is obvious. I went right back to my same old thoughts. I know I have to deal with that too, and I will.

I really need to get a sponsor and start working the steps. Its just been kind of a battle, but I'm getting there. It's cool that my husband is in recovery too because he understands and supports doing whatever I need to do to stay clean day to day.

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even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you --Psalm 139


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"I can probably get other meds that work and I'm cool with trying those too. "

Just to make sure the bigger point I am trying to make isn't missed, its not about this medication or that medication. My point is about putting yourself under the care of someone else. It is that act of humility that is healthy in terms of dealing with our being addicts. Our tendency is to go and find all sorts of stuff, web search, etc., decide all kinds of things for ourselves. That is in part a symptom of our disease.

That's why I wanted to be clear I'm not telling you to or not to take the benadryl. I'm actually not talking about it at all.

In terms of your symptoms they can be managed without medications that make you drowsy or feel like when you take an anti-histamine. By the way on the scale of strength, benadryl is actually fairly mild as an anti-histamine. Most of those medications are prescription. The honey comb, the ocean spray, a cool-mist humidifier at night, etc., not prescription. If you are at the point of needing benadryl, my guess is the non-prescription stuff while it may help, isn't going to manage your symptoms.

There is this thing about being in recovery in regards to our feelings that we simply have to get past this "I hurt all these folks so I can't say anything..." mode because NOT saying anything about our feelings is one way we got so goofed up. We have to share our feelings to stay healthy and not let our mistakes keep us in a place where we stuff them. We'll stay sick if we do. I hope that makes sense.

Apply that if you will to medication. Just because we abused chemicals does not then mean we don't need, deserve or should be able to manage symptoms with medication as needed. And just like learning how to do the feelings thing correctly, healthfully, the same is true with medications. NOT seeking treatment is as unhealthy as not sharing feelings. You'd be surprised how receptive most doctors are when patients come clean, tell them what and why they can't take certain things, and ask for some way to manage symptoms that do not put you back in the similar place as with your abuse. There's even doctors out there that specialize in just that kind of thing. This is about pain meds but just as an illustration.

http://www.relapse.org/custom/list.asp?c=19165&pageid=6737

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"I'm not well known outside of my cluster"


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The Indian version of Benadryl is actually a drug of choice for many addicts here. I myself took it for 4 years, from 1997-2001...

In fact, I hear that an oldtimer who actually was instrumental in starting NA at my hometown relapsed on Benadryl after 15 years clean. Scared the hell out of me when I heard this sad news. As a result, I have started saying a Prayer that I had skipped in the last one year - God, Help me Stay Clean Just For Today.

-- Edited by Tahir at 12:35, 2008-10-09

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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting." Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.


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Hi there.....just a suggestion but get your physician to prescribe a nasal steroid....works better and faster and no systemic side effects....doctor issy

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