How deeply ingrained our self-image as a victim can be! How habitual our feelings of misery and helplessness! Victimization can be like a gray cloak that surrounds us, both attracting that which will victimize us and causing us to generate the feelings of victimization.
Victimization can be so habitual that we may feel victimized even by the good things that happen to us!
Got a new car? Yes, we sigh, but it doesn't run as well as I expected, and after all, it cost so much. . . .
You've got such a nice family! Yes, we sigh, but there are problems. And we've had such hard times. . . .
Well, your career certainly is going well! Ah, we sigh, but there is such a price to pay for success. All that extra paperwork. . . .
I have learned that, if we set our mind to it, we have an incredible, almost awesome ability to find misery in any situation, even the most wonderful of circumstances.
Shoulders bent, head down, we shuffle through life taking our blows.
Be done with it. Take off the gray cloak of despair, negativity, and victimization. Hurl it; let it blow away in the wind.
We are not victims. We may have been victimized. We may have allowed ourselves to be victimized. We may have sought out, created, or re created situations that victimized us. But we are not victims.
We can stand in our power. We do not have to allow ourselves to be victimized. We do not have to let others victimize us. We do not have to seek out misery in either the most miserable or the best situations.
We are free to stand in the glow of self-responsibility.
Set a boundary! Deal with the anger! Tell someone no, or stop that! Walk away from a relationship! Ask for what you need! Make choices and take responsibility for them. Explore options. Give yourself what you need! Stand up straight, head up, and claim your power. Claim responsibility for yourself!
I'm really starting to feel insecure about posting anything anymore, everybody's smarter than me. thanks for the share keri, i know for me i love the victim role..if I'm high i cant be held accountable, after all ,i was high what do you expect ? i stayed in that state for many years. avoiding responsibility for me .
A new day is here , I am no longer the victim of the world. Will i still screw up ? lol you betcha, lots. But today its because I'm human. not because I'm high and don't care. And today those mistakes bring new opportunity to grow.
I really enjoyed this post. thanks.
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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .
Thanks for the post. I love to live a life where what is in my mind suddenly appears before me.
This has been a pretty big topic on my mind recently. When I first fled my abusive relationship, I lived in a poor me world. I could feel sorry for myself and moan at how bad my life was. How bad my choices were and how much I had been hurt by people. With these thoughts at the forefront of my mind, all I could do was try to feel better by blaming the people who had caused me all of my pain. This went on for awhile, and I wasn't feeling any better. Then shortly after I came to terms with being an addict I started to justify it with my shitty life. I had good reasons to use. Who could live my life and be in it every day?
Then things in my mind started to change. I started to wonder what I had done to cause my pain. I started to think about my ownership in the whole process.
WOW! I actually started to realize that by living the poor me mentality, that I had diminished my own value, to myself, and everyone around me. Then I started to see that I had participated in everything bad that had ever happened in my adult life. I wasn't just pulled along for the ride...I was running beside the car.
With the attitude of ownership, I have been able to let go of people that had been destructive and be responsible for my own thoughts and actions.
I know now that as a participant, I wasn't a victim. I have value beyond measure. With ownership, I can take the responsibility to safeguard myself and not allow bad things to happen in my life. Everyone has good days and bad, but if I can look at my part in it, I have something to fix. I have taken my own control.
I am working on being me. Being me means that I can feel what I want when I want, I can have my own thoughts, and my own dreams, and the only people I need to consider in this is myself. If you don't like me, that's okay. I like me, and because I do, I will attract people who like me too.
I am not a victim, so therefore I do not have to settle for mediocre, I can wait for the exceptional. That is exactly what I am going to do.
Not being the victim today, means that I can give myself a life in recovery without drugs and without unhealthy people.
I will treasure my value.
I am walking towards the exceptional, with the wonderful, beautiful, strong person that is me.
I am Kathleen, a Greatful addict in recovery. Thanks for letting me share.
-- Edited by kitizzy at 01:28, 2008-10-02
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Yes, I bought a ticket on the crazy train.....Good thing it was a return ticket.
"Victim" is just one side of the complete pattern...
The other side of a victim is "offender", so in a way, whenever I wanted to feel like a victim, I sure was on the lookout for an Offender who can give me what I want... lol...
Also, playing Savior in others' lives and when at the end of it, the other did not heed to my help, it allowed me to feel a victim again
Equally important is the Seducer role where I seduce people into playing the roles I want them to play so that I can play victim... lol...
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
SMOKE ME SOME DOPE TOO while i'm at it
