thanks for sharing keri, it made me smile. always feels better to know we arent alone.

Hi keri-lee, Thanks for your post.
I think it is absolutely a part of recovery to go through peaks and valleys emotionally and spiritually. If it weren't for the dry periods in my spirituality, how could I apprediate those times when I experience a growth spurt, or when God seems so close? I must remember that emotional and spiritual valleys make it possible to recognize my personal and spiritual growth. What's important is how I respond to these times in my recovery. I have found that if I just keep on doing the right thing for the right reason, eventually the times of refreshing come round again. It always seems darkest before the dawn, so hang in there. Hold on, help is on the way! Big NA Hugs!

I don't think there's a recovering addict out there that hasn't experienced exactly what you speak of Keri-Lee~!!

I like to think and express myself in visual terms...I used to say I like communicating in metaphors. So here's a couple I thought of...

Picture yourself, your spiritual life, perhaps even your relationships, at the very start of your recovery as a newborn baby. Newborns are defenseless, totally dependent on others for everything, frightened easily, unsure, and very vulnerable.

As the newborn ages in the first year think of how many wonderous changes there are! Each day practically, their facial features change, they grow ounce by ounce, pound by pound...soon able to move large muscle groups, smile, coo and laugh. Their eyes become brighter, they pay more attention to their surroundings, soon learning to roll over, then crawl and walk! There are so may first times in that first year of their lives, first tooth, first solid food, first night they sleep through, first laugh, first holidays, on and on.

By the second year, they're getting into stuff, touching things they shouldn't pulling things off shelves, perhaps even getting put into time out. They are starting be expected to listen, to behave, to go potty in the toilet, even put on their own clothes and whatnot. There's starting to be pressure for them to act a certain way.

Then year three comes along, there's preschool, learning to read, learning about life. It's all hard at first, things get easier with repetition and guidance...you see where I'm going with this...recovery is no different than us re-learning how to live...we've lost the capability to live life on it's own terms, and now we've begun a process, a change in how we want to live our lives. It's not that quickly accomplished, and it's not that easily done.

BUT compared to the hell we lived, we choose recovery because it's a whole lot more appealing to us than going back to the insanity of using. The worst part about our situations versus an actual baby...the baby doesn't put expectations on itself. Sure the parents might, or the teachers, but kids don't learn how to degrade themselves until they are taught that what they've done isn't good enough. We have such high standards on ourselves, we expect to be able to do certain things...damnit, we're adults aren't we~!!! Yeah, we are physically, but emotionally, spiritually, mentally, we have a lot to learn, a lot to practice, and a lot to do.

...my other metaphor, much shorter...pain is miracle grow for recovery~!!



-- Edited by ItsAllGolden at 10:55, 2008-10-01