Living with substance abuse or mental disorder is like growing up and living your entire life on a boat in the middle of the ocean.
The ground is always moving under your feet. Storm after storm you get knocked all over. Ocasionally in calm waters you learn to stay upright. One day, a particularly bad storm beats you up and throws you over board.
By the grace of GOD you wash up on the shore. Even though you are now on solid ground it takes awhile for the ground to stop moving. At first you are constantly reeling and counter balancing because that is all you know in your life. The people on land might look at you like you are a "nut" for holding onto and grasping for the railing for every step you take, for all they ever knew and did was walk on solid ground. As time goes by you strt to get your "land legs"
You meet other shipwrecked surviviors in this strange land that help you along.
Little by little you stop having to reel backand forth.
Then one day you wake up and you realize you can walk a straight line. on dry land for the firsttime. You tell yourself you will never forget the buck and roll of learning to walk again, you learn to stay upright and walk amoung the land people.
Thanks to TOMMY S from Delaware, Ohio for including this in his MASTERS DEGREE paper for drug and ALCO/paper and for rememebering TOM B FROM NJ ONCE SAID IT AT A MEETING in 1996
MY FRIEND NEEDS HELP. She has been gettinghigh at work. it's out of control. they took her to the hospital. found ambien in her purse. she had taken 2 inthe middle of the day. her husband is in denial. her family is in denial. i have been enabling her and covering up for her by sobering her up at work..and getting her home we lunfortunately live in the same town.
i do not go in with her in the am or the afternoon. she seemd not to bad this week. she apologized to me and said it's under control but i don't think you can get over drug addiction in 5 days. she seems high but not as high as she was.can she go cold turkey or will the really wasted her return?
Hi Marsha, Thanks for your post and thank you for your loving concern for your friend. Unfortunately, the outlook is not good, at least for the immediate future. I will refer you to our literature for your answer because it is the SHARED experience of our fellowship.
"Tradition Three: The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using."
"This Tradition is important for both the individual and the group. Desire is the key word; desire is the basis of our recovery. In our stories and in our experience of trying to carry the message of recovery to the addict who still suffers, one painful fact of life has emerged again and again. An addict who does not want to stop using will not stop using. They can be analyzed, counseled, reasoned with, prayed over, threatened, beaten, or locked up, but they will not stop until they want to stop. The only thing we ask of our members is that they have this desire. Without it they are doomed, but with it miracles will happen."
Your friend must find this desire in order to get help. This desire is often born of the trouble using brings- family, employment, financial, legal, physical health, etc. Often we must receive encouragement from the court system.
Another problem you friend faces is that one aspect of the disease of addiction is "Denial." Addiction is a disease that tells us we don't HAVE a disease. OK, so we might have a small problem, but it's under control. Well, maybe not so under control, but it's going to get better. Denial can have me living under a bridge and saying stuff like, Yeah, but it's in a NICE neighborhood." or " I'm getting it together real soon, I'm just having a little fun right now, etc." In the end, our lives HAVE to get so bad that we can no longer convince ourselves that we don't have a problem. Even then, this is only the beginning for many of us. We now have to convince ourselves that we can't "fix it" without help. This process often takes years to complete. As I said, unfortunately, if your friend is an addict, she faces a long, rough road. Friends and family often prolong our suffering by "helping us." They continue to enable us to use by covering for us, or making excuses for us when we most need to take responsibility for our lives and our recovery. I wish I had better news for you. Thanks again for posting, and Good Luck. We will pray for your friend.
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"With a sweet tongue of kindness, you can drag an elephant by a hair." ~Persian Proverb
