Not all people who come to our rooms come for the reasons of finding a new way of life.
Case in point.
I was chairing a meeting on Sat night and This "new" guy came and he identified himself as an addict. You know if you used today stay and talk with someone...you may not have to use tommorow........MEN are suppose to stick with the MEN and Woman are suppose to STICK with the Woman at LEAST for the first 90 days....
He was trying to hit on every single woman there... expecially this newcomer who had like 11 days clean....he had blood shot eyes and well yes my radar was up and today I am not as niave as I was trusting everyone....Besides my husband didnt come to that meeting so I needed to be a little extra vigalant.
I grew up like 23 miles out of NYC and I have seen a lot of bad stuff and my first go around in NA I used to go down to GREENICH VILLAGE IN NYC for awesome meetings too. Now I live in the SUBURBS of Columbus OHIO and there are so many CRACK HEADS here and so much more CRIME than I have ever seen in my life and the POPO (POLICE) are poppin so many dealers
What I geuss I am saying in short is this THAT guy who came to the meeting got popped 2 days later..... and 2 other crack dealers got popped out of his house. Maybe he came to our meetings to recruite customers...a sad thought
I am so glad I AM CLEAN NOT TRYING TO GET CLEAN...DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT the police and I live a DRAMA FREE life!
way to give the guy the benifit of the doubt guys. Maybe he wanted help and did not know how to ask. To me, setting boundaries is being very clear with a person what is okay and not okay. It is not passing judgment on someone elses behaviour.
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Yes, I bought a ticket on the crazy train.....Good thing it was a return ticket.
way to give the guy the benifit of the doubt guys. Maybe he wanted help and did not know how to ask. To me, setting boundaries is being very clear with a person what is okay and not okay. It is not passing judgment on someone elses behaviour.
He was coming up real close on a woman who had 14 days clean and he looked like he was flying like a kite. Judgemental? He was Institionalized. Saying "you know what I mean.....You know what I mean...bragging before the meeting How he has been in and out of Jail for trafficking..(WAR STORIES) and yes I do know what he means....
They say we dont have to like everyone but we have to LOVE EVERYONE SORRY I DISAGREE with that too because back in 1987 when I was going to meetings with my new baby girl and some addict also shared he just got out of jail for SEXUALLY ABUSING HIS STEP daughter I picked up my daughter and high tailed it out of there.
WE REALIZED WE WERE SICK PEOPLE.
JUST because we remove the SUBSTANCE does not mean until we work our steps have a sponsor, have sometime under our belt and maybe even need some outside help do we get better!
WE DIDNT BECOME ADDICTED IN ONE DAY..so REMEMBER EASY DOES IT!
way to give the guy the benifit of the doubt guys. Maybe he wanted help and did not know how to ask. To me, setting boundaries is being very clear with a person what is okay and not okay. It is not passing judgment on someone elses behaviour.
He was coming up real close on a woman who had 14 days clean and he looked like he was flying like a kite. Judgemental? He was Institionalized. Saying "you know what I mean.....You know what I mean...bragging before the meeting How he has been in and out of Jail for trafficking..(WAR STORIES) and yes I do know what he means....
They say we dont have to like everyone but we have to LOVE EVERYONE SORRY I DISAGREE with that too because back in 1987 when I was going to meetings with my new baby girl and some addict also shared he just got out of jail for SEXUALLY ABUSING HIS STEP daughter I picked up my daughter and high tailed it out of there.
WE REALIZED WE WERE SICK PEOPLE.
JUST because we remove the SUBSTANCE does not mean until we work our steps have a sponsor, have sometime under our belt and maybe even need some outside help do we get better!
WE DIDNT BECOME ADDICTED IN ONE DAY..so REMEMBER EASY DOES IT!
....It sounds to me like you are saying opposite things at the same time. The only condition to be a member of NA is the DESIRE to stop using. You don't have to be clean. When in a fellowship meeting you choose to be there so tolerence for the other people attending is needed for the health of everyone in the room. The newcomer is the most important person at every meeting. You can't keep what you have unless you give it away... Hmm.
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Yes, I bought a ticket on the crazy train.....Good thing it was a return ticket.
lol. its deja vu all over again. A dear friend once told me , when we need answers in our recovery refer to the NA literature. so lets give it a whack ladies. whadaya say ?
Tradition 1 ) Our common welfare should come first, personal recovery depends on NA unity. We must live and work together, AS A GROUP (my caps ) to ensure that in a storm our ship does not sink, and our members do not perish. With faith in a power greater than ourselves.hard work,and unity,we will survive and continue to carry the message to the addict who still suffers.
I could go one. But your both smart women and know where this is going.
Now, that said. We are sick people and some of us are sicker than others. Far be it from me to stand in the way of a woman who has a SENSE about where shes at and the people shes with. Women i feel have a little more responsibility for their own safety than men do . sexist ? maybe, but honest and that's all Ive got
Just because we are in a program of recovery does not mean some are not there to exploit the honest and open sharing that is our life's blood.
We all want to recover. But we all want to be safe also.
Keep coming back and BTW honeybear, if you ever see me at a meeting with red and swollen eyes, Its most likely caused by the gratitude that's been leaking out of them so much these days.
Love you both Anthony G
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" If you have built castles in the air , your work need not be lost ; that is where they should be . Now put the foundations under them . "
rats rats rats,, they fought the dogas and killed the cats !! rats= pushers dogs= cops cats= addicts !!! We cannot change the natute of the addict or of addiction,, which means many of us had to rob,push etc to stay loaded and then simply to stay out of withdrawl. We can help however change the old lie once an addict always and addict by striving to make recovery possible. When and addict reaches out for help (whether he turned pusher,pimp robber etc) I want the hand of Na to alwys be there and for that I am respnsible !! One of the best ways to be responsible in situation is to get the Trusted Servants of the Group involved,,rather than individual judgements anmd condemnations !! I come from experience of seeing hate,rejection and animosity being thrown at soemone who supposedly wasnt ok !! I believe that when i first came into recovery if old timers had judged me id never have had a chance to recover ! I try and remember that it says "WE tried to carry the message to the addict that still suffers " We is greater than me !!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
THANK YOU FRICKIN NA POLICE WHEN IS YOUR NEXT CONVENTION SIGN ME UP@! IF YOU DELETE THIS I WILL TRULY SEE what this site is all about.
You totally DID NOT GET ONE THING I SAID. WOMAN STICK with WOMAN
MEN STICK with men
ITS BETTER TO BE CLEAN THAN TO GET CLEAN
I LIVE IN RECOVERY TRADITION 5 CARRY THE MESSAGE NOT THE ADDICT sorry I AM NOT a people pleaser and yes I WILL GUARD myself.... I welcome the newcomer, offer litature...If its a woman a ride my number and anything else I might be able to do.....
DRIPPING eyes.....YOU KNOW WHAT HIGH EYES are so dont play me....That was just a stupid remark and I will still pray for you later! I AM ON MY WAY TO A MEETING I AM GSR OF! WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Honey Bear, I understood exactly what you said. And I've seen my share of people asked to leave and come back another day, for very good reasons, namely the welfare of the group > that of the sick individual. "a desire to be clean" is not showing up wasted and trying to scam people. There is a line, and it needs to be drawn occasionaly. Setting boundaries is good way to put it.
Honey Bear, I understood exactly what you said. And I've seen my share of people asked to leave and come back another day, for very good reasons, namely the welfare of the group > that of the sick individual. "a desire to be clean" is not showing up wasted and trying to scam people. There is a line, and it needs to be drawn occasionaly. Setting boundaries is good way to put it.
Actually no one asked this gentleman to leave. He sat in the meeting he didnt distrubt, drank coffee when it came to him he identified himself yet passed he wasnt distrubtive at all. It was after the meeting when he slid up on a newcomber 14 days didnt even know her... put his arm around her..she smiled and wiggled uncomfortable and what I did was come up to her and say...OH MS X I have to tell you something and did like a 180. He was obviously annoyed with me and I could careless. A long while ago I would not have been that brave or braision. Today I do look out for vunerable woman since at one time I was one an d I was taken advantage of and well I dont even want to get into that right here.
I recieved 3 x text messages at 5"30 regarding this man how the police were raiding his house...how dealers were popped and how this man also got popped too. This happened on MON this meeting he attended was on SAT and the ;people who sent the text lived in his neighborhood and one of them was my sponsors newphew. My point is SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR MOMMA I DONT LIVE IN THAT LIFE STYLE AT ALL.....
I am free. NO POLICE...NO DEPRESSION....NO INSANITY!
really sorry you saw it that way honeybear, I honestly thought i was walking the middle of the line fairly well, your certainly entitled to your opinion. And thanks so much for the prayer, God knows i need it.
Your greatful brother n recovery Anthony G.
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" If you have built castles in the air , your work need not be lost ; that is where they should be . Now put the foundations under them . "
"There, but for the grace of God, go I." I'm sorry, but it "works for me" to not, I repeat, NOT go to f2f meetings because of shit like this. I don't wanna chair, don't wanna be gsr (apologies, Honeybear).....I have the desire required, not much of a clean date but I've learned A LOT in my 16 years of incarceration (clean), through my slips (many, and full-blown freakin relapses)......to me, 80% of the f2f meetings i've been to outside prison (I've been out 8 years) have been ..... I LIKE THIS BETTER AND I'M CLEAN. "Nuff said.
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I think people are full of guile.....I enjoy that.
After several years clean and what i see now was way to much service work. I relapsed badly. Ill be the first to admit my program sucked.
I was to caught up in thinking I was a stalwart of recovery. People depended on and trusted me, and I let it go to my head.
15 years later here i am , it was a long road and Ive missed much.
I thought I knew enough about recovery to make it without meetings. I had a basic text. I had how it works. I had just for today readings and day by days. I even had a stash of my own chips that i could present to myself at the marking points of my clean time.And that's exactly what i did.
I learned with my little recovery experiment that I was a moron. It just didn't work. What was missing for me was fellowship. The idea of two addicts actually coming together face to face to help each other.
I had quite a few days under my belt before i crawled back into a meeting. Thank God they were there.
For me, I need meetings. I need other addicts experiences and hope. I'm a sick guy. If left on my own I take the only way i know, And that friends is not a place I choose today.
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" If you have built castles in the air , your work need not be lost ; that is where they should be . Now put the foundations under them . "
Here's the thing, we are all sick people trying to get better. We aren't bad people trying to get good.
I ALWAYS have to remember: Let people be who they gotta be, and keep the focus on me!
When I see someone high at a meeting, normally it makes me feel sad to see them in that state of affairs, but I must remember, it took every day in jail, every fine and court cost, every loss of job, every ounce of low self-esteem, every untrusting friend, every disappointed family member, every suicidal thought, every single pain of using and finding ways in means to get more in order for me to figure out that drugs were a major factor in my life problems.
I also know too many recovering addicts that came to meetings high (some for over a year) just to one day have something finally click and they quit.
Quick story and I'll shut up...well momentarily shut up, LOL...
I went to a convention where a woman that had 20 some years clean spoke. She was living with AIDS, had been a former prostitute on the streets of NYC. Some guy rode his bike to a meeting day after day, seeing her standing on her corner. One day he stopped and asked her if she was into using drugs, they spoke about this and he made a proposition for her to get $5 for each meeting that she went to. She was not at all interested in getting clean or finding a new way to live, all she was looking for was a quick 5 bucks and some hook ups for customers. She went to meetings for about 2 years getting paid this whole time by this guy. Then one day, she went to a meeting (high as usual), and a man handed her a rose. He told her, if you choose recovery you can grow and blossom and be as beautiful as this rose. If you don't choose recovery and continue to use, we will have to put this rose on your casket. That moment was when she said she decided to stop using and she's been clean since that moment.
We can't tell who's gonna stay and grow or who's gonna go. But we must give everyone a fighting chance, that includes the creepy men looking for a date, or the fledgling women that don't know they are worth more than a quick f*ck to someone...everyone who's at a meeting deserves a chance to find recovery. It's up to that individual to decide whether or not they are worth the effort it takes in order to recover. I rightly earned my mother f-ing seat through the pain and misery of active addiction, no man or woman, or gossip, or strife, or disagreements, or ill will is going to keep me away from my recovery. I deserve a chance at being happy, joyous and free.
-- Edited by ItsAllGolden at 15:31, 2008-09-26
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"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~Oscar Wilde~
Here's the thing, we are all sick people trying to get better. We aren't bad people trying to get good.
I ALWAYS have to remember: Let people be who they gotta be, and keep the focus on me!
When I see someone high at a meeting, normally it makes me feel sad to see them in that state of affairs, but I must remember, it took every day in jail, every fine and court cost, every loss of job, every ounce of low self-esteem, every untrusting friend, every disappointed family member, every suicidal thought, every single pain of using and finding ways in means to get more in order for me to figure out that drugs were a major factor in my life problems.
I also know too many recovering addicts that came to meetings high (some for over a year) just to one day have something finally click and they quit.
Quick story and I'll shut up...well momentarily shut up, LOL...
I went to a convention where a woman that had 20 some years clean spoke. She was living with AIDS, had been a former prostitute on the streets of NYC. Some guy rode his bike to a meeting day after day, seeing her standing on her corner. One day he stopped and asked her if she was into using drugs, they spoke about this and he made a proposition for her to get $5 for each meeting that she went to. She was not at all interested in getting clean or finding a new way to live, all she was looking for was a quick 5 bucks and some hook ups for customers. She went to meetings for about 2 years getting paid this whole time by this guy. Then one day, she went to a meeting (high as usual), and a man handed her a rose. He told her, if you choose recovery you can grow and blossom and be as beautiful as this rose. If you don't choose recovery and continue to use, we will have to put this rose on your casket. That moment was when she said she decided to stop using and she's been clean since that moment.
We can't tell who's gonna stay and grow or who's gonna go. But we must give everyone a fighting chance, that includes the creepy men looking for a date, or the fledgling women that don't know they are worth more than a quick f*ck to someone...everyone who's at a meeting deserves a chance to find recovery. It's up to that individual to decide whether or not they are worth the effort it takes in order to recover. I rightly earned my mother f-ing seat through the pain and misery of active addiction, no man or woman, or gossip, or strife, or disagreements, or ill will is going to keep me away from my recovery. I deserve a chance at being happy, joyous and free.
-- Edited by ItsAllGolden at 15:31, 2008-09-26
good story i visualzed that as I was reading it.....Its also a selfish program too
Itsallgolden wrote Here's the thing, we are all sick people trying to get better. We aren't bad people trying to get good.
I ALWAYS have to remember: Let people be who they gotta be, and keep the focus on me!
That really puts this whole tread into perspcetive in just a few short words!!!! "Let people be who they gotta be, and keep the focus on me! " love it really well said!!!
I have been in and out of the rooms for quite sometime and have now manged to get some time under my belt...all we can do is educate the newcomers girls if you are on about the things that do go on i am not there to rescue any one but myself and worry only about myself.. I speak the message that spoken to me and i give back what i can at the time.When jugdement is passed in the rooms it has caused a great deal of addicts to relapse and i was once told when we are jugding it is because we see something in that person that we see in our selves ( something to look at) .... Today i am greatful for all that come into the rooms wheather it be drug dealers recurriting it shows i am strong, wheater it be someone flying high it makes me grateful for what i have in my life today and the program i am working or if i see a vulnerable girl getting side tracked by some behaviors i all i can share is my experiance, strength and hope....I am no one's saviour but my own and some days that is hard enough than to worry about the problem of the program i go sit in my seat listen to what i need to and leave the rest, i work my steps and reach out when i need to and low and behold one day at a time i am where i am today and for today i am free!!!!!!!!!!
Itsallgolden wrote Here's the thing, we are all sick people trying to get better. We aren't bad people trying to get good.
I ALWAYS have to remember: Let people be who they gotta be, and keep the focus on me!
That really puts this whole tread into perspcetive in just a few short words!!!! "Let people be who they gotta be, and keep the focus on me! " love it really well said!!!
I have been in and out of the rooms for quite sometime and have now manged to get some time under my belt...all we can do is educate the newcomers girls if you are on about the things that do go on i am not there to rescue any one but myself and worry only about myself.. I speak the message that spoken to me and i give back what i can at the time.When jugdement is passed in the rooms it has caused a great deal of addicts to relapse and i was once told when we are jugding it is because we see something in that person that we see in our selves ( something to look at) .... Today i am greatful for all that come into the rooms wheather it be drug dealers recurriting it shows i am strong, wheater it be someone flying high it makes me grateful for what i have in my life today and the program i am working or if i see a vulnerable girl getting side tracked by some behaviors i all i can share is my experiance, strength and hope....I am no one's saviour but my own and some days that is hard enough than to worry about the problem of the program i go sit in my seat listen to what i need to and leave the rest, i work my steps and reach out when i need to and low and behold one day at a time i am where i am today and for today i am free!!!!!!!!!!
-- Edited by keri-lee at 16:08, 2008-09-26
-- Edited by keri-lee at 16:09, 2008-09-26
Thanks Keri Ill take what my sponsor tells me what too "LooK at" Maybe you should "look at NOT taking other peoples inventories.
My inventory is all my own...Thank you for the advise...but between the lines my whole blurp was about me and my inventory.......so remember keep coming back and don't leave before the miracle happens
Itsallgolden wrote Here's the thing, we are all sick people trying to get better. We aren't bad people trying to get good.
I ALWAYS have to remember: Let people be who they gotta be, and keep the focus on me!
That really puts this whole tread into perspcetive in just a few short words!!!! "Let people be who they gotta be, and keep the focus on me! " love it really well said!!!
I have been in and out of the rooms for quite sometime and have now manged to get some time under my belt...all we can do is educate the newcomers girls if you are on about the things that do go on i am not there to rescue any one but myself and worry only about myself.. I speak the message that spoken to me and i give back what i can at the time.When jugdement is passed in the rooms it has caused a great deal of addicts to relapse and i was once told when we are jugding it is because we see something in that person that we see in our selves ( something to look at) .... Today i am greatful for all that come into the rooms wheather it be drug dealers recurriting it shows i am strong, wheater it be someone flying high it makes me grateful for what i have in my life today and the program i am working or if i see a vulnerable girl getting side tracked by some behaviors i all i can share is my experiance, strength and hope....I am no one's saviour but my own and some days that is hard enough than to worry about the problem of the program i go sit in my seat listen to what i need to and leave the rest, i work my steps and reach out when i need to and low and behold one day at a time i am where i am today and for today i am free!!!!!!!!!!
-- Edited by keri-lee at 16:08, 2008-09-26
-- Edited by keri-lee at 16:09, 2008-09-26
Really great share Keri-Lee. Welcome to MIP I look forward to reading more posts...
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Yes, I bought a ticket on the crazy train.....Good thing it was a return ticket.
Itsallgolden wrote Here's the thing, we are all sick people trying to get better. We aren't bad people trying to get good.
I ALWAYS have to remember: Let people be who they gotta be, and keep the focus on me!
That really puts this whole tread into perspcetive in just a few short words!!!! "Let people be who they gotta be, and keep the focus on me! " love it really well said!!!
I have been in and out of the rooms for quite sometime and have now manged to get some time under my belt...all we can do is educate the newcomers girls if you are on about the things that do go on i am not there to rescue any one but myself and worry only about myself.. I speak the message that spoken to me and i give back what i can at the time.When jugdement is passed in the rooms it has caused a great deal of addicts to relapse and i was once told when we are jugding it is because we see something in that person that we see in our selves ( something to look at) .... Today i am greatful for all that come into the rooms wheather it be drug dealers recurriting it shows i am strong, wheater it be someone flying high it makes me grateful for what i have in my life today and the program i am working or if i see a vulnerable girl getting side tracked by some behaviors i all i can share is my experiance, strength and hope....I am no one's saviour but my own and some days that is hard enough than to worry about the problem of the program i go sit in my seat listen to what i need to and leave the rest, i work my steps and reach out when i need to and low and behold one day at a time i am where i am today and for today i am free!!!!!!!!!!
-- Edited by keri-lee at 16:08, 2008-09-26
-- Edited by keri-lee at 16:09, 2008-09-26
Really great share Keri-Lee. Welcome to MIP I look forward to reading more posts...
Great I look forward to leaving this place wow before coming to NA we realized we were sick people...
Ok I have to say that I have never had to delete posts on this board in the last year i have been running it and I just popped my cherry LOL
SO Stop arguing , take what people have to share and either accept it or let it go but dont bicker back and fourth I'll pull the whole thread if it continues and I am able to ban IDs thats the last thing I want to have to do so please please knock off the combative replys to those that applys too, THANKS .
when you read this you are saying the prayer with me= GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN, AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERANCE !!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
