When I was new I remember hearing about sponsorship being a two way street. I thought that meant I would be able to help my sponsor by telling him what HE needed to do sometimes! LOL! With the perspective of time I now have a little different understanding. I have the priveledge of sponsoring a few men who I believe God has placed in my life. It's a great honor as well as a grave responsibility to be asked to help guide someone in this way of life and I take it seriously.
I used to think that the MIRACLE of recovery was when I got clean. I believe today that the real miracle is when I get to watch the light come on behind someone else's eyes. There is no high in the world like seeing someone who has been struggling suddenly "get it." They catch a vision of what this Program has to offer, grab hold of it, and run like hell! To watch them grow and begin to blossom as human beings is just the ultimate! And then to watch as THEY are asked to sponsor a new member- For me, it doesn't get any better than that!
Each of the men I sponsor are very different, but each one brings something very special into my life. One is very sincere and honest, a "green planet" recycler and bicyclist. Another is a very spiritual, religious type. Still another is a very practical, analytical guy who thinks way too much, like me. One is a dreamer and the world always needs more dreamers. Another is one of the most free-spirited guys I've ever met. I feel like God has hand picked each of these men to help me in the areas where I lack clarity or direction.
I remember once with about 2 yrs clean trying to express my gratitude to my sponsor for all he has given me. I was very emotional and choked up a little. He gave me a silly, crooked grin and said, "Man, I just tricked you into helping ME!"
The two way street of Sponsorship. Thanks, NA, I needed THAT!
Sorry, I needed to edit this for the sake of the Anonymity of others. Thanks
-- Edited by dan h at 00:57, 2008-09-17
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"With a sweet tongue of kindness, you can drag an elephant by a hair." ~Persian Proverb
Great topic. I am working my sixth step, and 1-5 on a daily basis. If someone asks me to be their sponsor, should I defer until I reach the 12th step, or do I have the ability to help another now? (I believe my sponsor is hinting that anytime I can help another is a good time to start)
Hi Dave, Thanks for your reply. This is only my OPINION, Dave, so take it as that, OK? In my area of the country, Indianapolis, IN, the NA Fellowship in general works the steps slowly and very thoroughly. Don't get me wrong, there are those who "rocket through the steps" as I think the Big Book mentions, but as a rule, most of us work slowly. I just started my 11th step and my sponsor had almost 10 years clean when he finished his 12th step. I personally believe the goal of step work is to become more intimately familiar with the Principles embodied in the steps and how to use them to improve the quality of our lives. Working the steps promotes spiritual growth and spiritual growth moves me along a path away from the self-centeredness of addiction toward God-centeredness and service to others. The Text says "From the first day, the twelve steps become a part of our lives."(Pg 88) Having said all that, the only STRONG suggestion I make to my sponsees is that they complete their first three steps before accepting the responsibility of guiding someone else. I say Strong suggestion because I place no DEMANDS on my guys, it's not my place to tell anyone how to live their lives or to make decisions for them. I know I have learned more from my mistakes than my successes. If I make their decisions for them, how can they learn to make their own? And I suggest the first three steps be completed because they are the "foundation" of recovery. I need to have my own foundation in place and be firmly settled upon it before sponsoring another because, for the unprepared, the stresses of sponsorship can become overwhelming. If others see something in you that they want, then you are probably ready. One thing I have learned I'll share with you, Dave, is this: Yes, we sponsor others to help them stay clean, but the reward is that sponsoring others keeps ME clean, whether THEY stay clean or not. If they relapse, it's not because of my sponsorship, it's because of their reservations. We are each responsibile for our own recovery. Good Luck, this is a whole new dimension of sponsorship and your growth will be amazing. Big NA Hugs!
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"With a sweet tongue of kindness, you can drag an elephant by a hair." ~Persian Proverb