Somehow (with God's help) I have reached two years of sobreity today. After using drugs for 38 years without a single let up, i've turned my life around for the better. Getting divorced by my ex was the blow that finally made me realize my life had become unmanageable. I had worked the first step for 8 months and could not accept that, then the pain became soooo great I asked for help.
At first I looked at the meetings as my higher power. Then in the depths of despair I ran into an old friend of my late dad's while eating at a cafateria resturant. Seriously contemplating do myself harm, my higher power placed this person in my life. I asked him if he was a friend of bill w's...so know one close by would understand my cry for help...
He replied why yes i am? I mentioned i needed to talk to him, and he waited outside for me. He listened to my story, how my wife of 25 years had cast me off, and said you know my wife of 47 years just said the same to me. here was a person who liked me battled manic depression, and had rebulit his life as was a very successful RE agent, having re-invented a career at 62 years of age.
He said, did you know your dad died in my arms? No I hadn't. Then he said and the day before, your dad and i painted the bottom of my (new/ie used). I had forgotten about that around the issues of his unexpected passing. he then told me how my dad had brought him into his fellowship, and how he owed so much to my late dad.
it was like a message from my dad, conveyed by god to me...my life wasn't over, things could have gotten worse, you can make it kid, don't give up
A tear comes to my eye as I think about how proud my dad would be with my program. I live it every day, and constantly ask myself how can i ask god for help in my recovery. I know consider my higher power to be in the groups, the steps, and many others, and in God. I've come to believe he can restore me to sanity....
don't give up on yuorself, there is hope for all of us addicts....
Thanks for that. I just wanted to share my recovery today, so I also went to a meeting. On the ride home a young member called me and congratulated me, which made my day. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw all this flashing...a local municipality set off an entire fireworks display...so I pulled to the side of the road and watched as a city celebrated by anniversary with me. I even called my mom at that moment to share it with her.
Neat stuff happens powerful things will occur in your recovery I feel just as you do about my higher power and about God.
We are his instruments now, we have a gift to give back to others in gratitude and humility and Love.
Very proud to have you here and in the program , greatful for your presence God chose a good one , he saw something special, it's in everyone but not everyone is will to give that to others.
