How do you get over the sudden urge to use after being sober for over 1 year? Sometimes I get such a strong urge just to feel that pipe in my hand, go through the ritual, feeling that invinceable, full of energy feeling again. I know I was using to fill that empty place inside me but I can't find a substitute to replace those feeling when I smoked ice! I go through the litany in my head of all the pros and cons of using and the cons come up winning all the time....so far.
Feed the monster it will grow starve the monster and it will die.
Thats addiction, I would do a thorough inventory of yourself and talk it over with a sponsor or where ever you feel comfortable, heck share it here if you like I'm sure we can relate wot whats going on inside.
Your setting yourself up have fun and enjoy recovery maybe your just not doing enough fun stuff to keep yourself amused and feeling good, is recovery BLAH? BORING? supposed to go out and get a life now and enjoy living free of the bondage we were in.
what I did was pray daily, for the obesession to use be removed, and worked the steps with a sponsor, and attended meetings daily for about 4 years. I can honestly say that I haven't had a real desire to use or drink since about 6 months, which was right after I finished my 4th and 5th steps. How are you doing is these areas?
Why did I get stoned, everyday? So I could go through the ritual, feeling that invinceable, be full of energy feeling again, forget my worries, enjot sex more, and to get right with the world.
In retrospect i got NONE of those things out of drugs...And I had to use everyday for over 38 years. Putting down my pipe was out of the question..why would anyone do that?
I finally got honest with myself...went and talked about it with other addicts...tried to make amends (1st by giving up drugs) ....and asked God for guidance.
don't use just for today and your cravings will pass.....
I started to accept feelings of pain and emptiness and regard it as amends for the harm I did to myself, to others and letting others do to me. While I am reflecting about it I consider there is no need for a reason to accept his own feelings no matter if they are good or bad. When the pain and emptiness start I hope against hope that they will pass. And sooner or later they did.
Thank you guys for the input. I think there is a point when I just get BORED with myself. BigV, you are right, I need to get more active. I have made new friends lately who do not use and we have things in common. DeanC, I pray also and it does help! But I am not following the steps again. Thank you for reminding me!! Davethewave, you are so right. Don't use today. That's really the key. Harryw, when those feelings come up, I try to pick them apart to figure out why they are there. Sometimes it helps, sometimes I get on the pity pot! That's why I come here. THANK YOU!!
Hi Cheryl, and welcome. I'm kinda new here so I'm still trying to get to know folks. You mentioned that you have been clean for a while, but you didn't say whether or not you are making meetings. Face to face meetings, NA activities and functions, conventions, and just having REAL friends in recovery have helped me immensely. I was told when I was new that one of the best ways to move away from old people, places, and things is to embrace the fellowship. If I am used to reaching out and asking for help and talking to a few "winners" in the program, it is a lot easier to reach out when that phone weighs a hundred pounds and my thinking tells me these people won't really understand or won't want to be bothered with me anyway. People in recovery DO care and want to help, and just having someone to talk to can help to turn my attitude back toward the positive when I'm obsessing about stuff today. Hope you're feeling better soon. Big Hugs, Dan
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