Hi i'm Bethany/Addict! I've been clean for 18 months! I've acomplished so much in those 18 months that i should be proud of but i have one fear. When i go to meetings i freeze up. I pass without sharing, my mind is full of thoughts but i'm afraid they will sound stupid comming out. I go to this awesome open AA/Alanon meeting with my parents once a month, they would love to see me stand up to get a medalion, but I don't have the guts to speak at a 15 people meeting, how am i going to get up in front of 50 people and say my part! What can i do to get over this fear!?
hi bethany , im anthony and im an addict, the above post is an excerpt from I.P.#13 " BY YOUNG ADDICTS FOR YOUNG ADDICTS" it tells us some on the importance of sharing. we are all able to keep what we have by giving it away. its part of the miracle of recovery , by admitting complete powerlessness we in turn empower ourselves. and by giving freely of ourselves we recieve the greatest gift in return. your young and you have a special place in NA. you can teach addicts of all ages, your story is worthwhile and youve earned your spot here. work your program to the best of your ability and allow it to help you grow. just like all of us there are hurdles to overcome. my prayers and hopes are with you as you work to overcome this one. congratulations on 18 months clean. your a miracle.
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" If you have built castles in the air , your work need not be lost ; that is where they should be . Now put the foundations under them . "
going to step meetings, where everyone takes turns reading the steps will help. also volunteering to read some of the preamble materials and give out chips will get you speaking in the meetings.
Remember that our shyness to speak is a combination of self centered fear and pride (vanity). It's our ego thinking that we are so important that other people will judge us, when in reality we're not that important to them, we're just another face in the crowd to most. Perfectionism plays into this as well. We have to be willing to do things that we know will not turn out perfect.
Going to NA or AA dances is another good way to get out of that type of self centeredness. Sounds counterintuitive I know but that's root of it.
I know that when I was in my first 6 months I could hardly speak at meetings. I was just frozen. But my sponsor told me that I had to let the groups that I attended get to know me. I started attending meetings with my sponsor, he made me sit up front, or at the table near the leader of the meeting and I'd share right after he did. Do you ever attend meetings with your sponsor? try it.
