Today, after allowing my alcoholic/drug abusing H back in, only a few days later, I have thrown him out. In the past couple of days, he has antogonized me, accused me of cheating on him, cornered me, threatened me... demand that I go to bed when he goes to bed (I enjoy watching tv late at nights alone by myself)... And worse he is cheap with his money...
I am the bread winner, and he lives off of worker's comp which only is $720 a month... I make 4 times that much in a month, pay all the bills... He is supposed to be out looking for a job, but refuses to... I not gonna drag this out... his family did an intervention, but from what I have seen in the last 3 days, I don't see an "effort" to change on his part...same old bully, very insecure, controlling, verbally abusive...threatening to do bodily harm to me, because I refuse to jump when he says jump... Is that mere stupidity? He was crying from being homeless on the street, so I let him back in to put a roof over his head, and here he is starting his bullshyt all over again...WTF?
Then he goes through my cell phone and calls my father who lives in Florida crying about our problems. Not once have I told my dad that my H has been abusive to me, because my father would kill him. He left my dad 3 long voicemails looking for sympathy... my dad calls me up to find out whats going on, and I finally admit to him that I have been dealing with this crap from my H for the last 2 years, and my dad hits the roof.... he is furious and demands that I put my H out NOW.... So that it what I did..
I feel guilty for not telling dad, but at least now I know there's some kind of reinforcement... My H got upset to learn that my dad wants him away from me, and he has told his family and twisted lies to make it seem that its my fault for opening up to my dad, and now because of me finally admitting the abuse, now my H can't live with me... Isn't that crazy? My H blabs his mouth to the whole wide world about our problems...his family, friends, strangers, you name it, he tells everything... I have never told my family any of my personal affairs, and now the one time that I do, he blames me... and he's saying his family is mad at me for doing so...
I'm just glad I can vent here... I feel so embarrassed and ashamed...
Hello, I believe your husband is ill and needs professional help along with NA. I strongly recomend that you find and attend Naranon meetings. I am sure you will find relief there. Go today. I wish you well.
I believe you are doing the best by letting this person go from your life. In my experience with abuse, I found that by cutting all attachments to the person the best way to stop the abuse because it never ends...especially when you enable a person to continue bad behavior!
Hang in there...God bless you and yours...many thoughts and prayers for courage and strength to let go and let god :)
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Just For Today....I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery.
Are drug addicts manipulative? YES. And to make it worse, many of us have no guilt or shame about it. No remorse.
Without recovery in his life, your husband is on a mission to destroy himself and take you with him.
Run for your life because you cannot win. Nor can you save him. The disease of addiction is more powerful than you, as you are already discovering.
For more support from others who have been in your shoes, please visit a Naranon meeting as soon as possible. You can find a meeting close to you at: http://nar-anon.org/naranongroups.htm
Don't look back, this one is a gonner. When the smoke clears though, it'll be time to look inside to figure out why you were attracted to this guy in the first place. Trust me it's more than a coincidence.
Addiction reaps havock on everyone surrounding the person. Iv'e also learned that in alot of cases addiction and mental or emotional illness go hand in hand, Some times thats part of the reason the person turns to drugs in the first place thinking it is fixing the problem when it's only making it worse. Don't be ashamed my addiction caused me and my fiance to do things we wilol always regret, thats what drugs do. Just take it one day at a time and seek as much help as you can.
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These things I have spoken unto you, that ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world. John16:33
Thank you for the mention of Nar-Anon. My mom is really involved with Al-Anon and I was hoping there was something like that for friends and family of other types of addicts, not just alcoholics, since I feel thats more what I need.
Today, after allowing my alcoholic/drug abusing H back in, only a few days later, I have thrown him out. In the past couple of days, he has antogonized me, accused me of cheating on him, cornered me, threatened me... demand that I go to bed when he goes to bed (I enjoy watching tv late at nights alone by myself)... And worse he is cheap with his money...
