I am Tina, 29 years old, mother to 3 beautiful girls and wife for 12 years now!! I had a back injury that started my problem, I have had a problem for 12 years or so, but really bad for 5 years. I am addicted to pain killers, and benzos if I need them! I have been so ready to quit but I have a huge problem, number 1, my husband uses and keeps lying and sneakin around takin them and I am in no way shape or form able to b around temptation, cause I know when he is using!! Things are really getting bad, He says he is going to quit but it is always when he is bombed when he says it!! When he is out it is a different story. and he thinks he doesn't have a problem, well he does!!!! I have been married for 12 years but this is really beginning to tear us apart!! I really want to quit, I am so done with it, I want my life back!!!!! OH yeah and number 2, I had a support group that I went to and they done me so wrong, I missed meetings for 3 weeks because of some very bad personal things that were goin on, when I came back I no longer was welcome at the support group they were all very rude to me and hurt my feelings... Most everyone there has had relapses and if someone would have turned there back on them and not give them a chance were would they be??? Do u guys think it is right to make me not feel welcome at the only support group that I can make it to. They don't understand that my relapses happen when my husband brings it back around, I am desperate, if anyone has some advise I am all ears. Thanks in advance, and sorry bout the novel, lol!!!!
hi Tina, thanks for sharing. My name is Kathleen, and I am an addict. i read your post and i just wanted to say that it takes courage to even admit that you have a problem. from what you wrote it looks like there may be more than one issue. I have spent my life with addicts and from my experiance I have learned that the only person that I have control over is myself. For my own sanity I have had to let go of the problems of the people that I love and focus on myself. Temptation is a terrible thing and I myself have still not been able to overcome it. As addicts, left unchecked we will use until it kills us, If we cannot even stop to save our own lives, it is hard to imagine trying to stop for someone else. Maybe some work on co-dependancy might help to establish a line between you and your husband for the sake of your own life and sanity. As far as the support group goes....when one door shuts find another that is unlocked. Maybe it is just not where you are supposed to be at this point. I am learning that there are inffinate online resourses and evey medium sized city has a lot of otions from NA meetings to church groups even. Good Luk Tina and I hope that you are able to find a path that helps for you.
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Yes, I bought a ticket on the crazy train.....Good thing it was a return ticket.
Tina WELCOME to the board i hope we're able to help in some way.
ITs tough thing stopping especially with your situation but if you want it bad enough you'll do it no matter what and sometimes you have to get away from a bad thing other times you just have to see your way threw it no matter how hard.
Your going to get tested, how bad do you want this recovery if you want it bad enough you'll got to ANY LENGTH to get it and keep it, be Vigilant.
i could always find an excuse to use, til it got to the point where i'd just make them up or simply didn't need excuses anymore
my addiction/ego wants me to use, to die my spirit wants me to live, clean which one will i feed today? what i focus on comes to pass, when i focus on recovery and recovering, thats what i'm doing
today Tina, i am choosing to see you , in recovery Grateful for the ability to choose
hi tina , hugs . im anthony ,im an addict. im glad your here and hope you keep coming back. a hard reality is bigv is right.much of getting clean depends on you.you can use support like meetings, literature a higher power but in the end its up to you. do you want it bad enough ? i dont know what went on at your meeting but i can tell you addicts are a funny breed. we have bad days . we get moody, we get pissed , sometimes we isolate ourselves. some of that is our addiction and some is just human nature. dont be so hard on your group. i have gone to meetings where i felt out of place or not wanted. when i reflect on my own attitude in that situation i can always find a flaw in my own behavior. im not saying you are flawed..your group may indeed be screwed up . but its challenges like that that help us look inside ourselves , and hopefully grow. good luck and keep coming back .
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" If you have built castles in the air , your work need not be lost ; that is where they should be . Now put the foundations under them . "
Tina, just joined this group so I don't completely know the rules yet. I'll be glad to chat with you if you need someone to talk with. My problem is Marajuana but I do understand the addictive side of pain medication. Just wanted you to know that we are all willing to help if you need it.
Hi Tina.. just want u 2 know that u r not alone and I get what u r going thru... BIG... just for today.. know that u DO have support and u don't ever have to use again! just for today.. keep coming back.. Stacia
Keep coming back Tina, and continue reaching out to other addicts here who have found a new way to live without having to use any kind of drugs. IT WORKS!
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Hello everyone, 
