Hi family , I hate im missing the chat room at night. but working 3rd shift is putting in its two cents on my recovery. im feeling like dumping a bit of my old work habits on you. A " normal " day for me used to be. Wake up around 8;15 pm . get high about 8;20. may get a shower maybe not. sit on bed and smoke cigs til 8;50 , then rush around getting dressed and finding car keys neglecting to make myself any lunch and getting out door by 9;10 pm..racing fast to work get high one time on trip. arrive at work by 9:55 and clock in..do what i had to do to keep from being fired ,wait for midnight break and get high. back to work and what i had to get done. at 2:30 am it was back to my next high. go to car fix what there was . sit and ponder how stupid the world was and then back in to work..note i havent eaten anything yet. fumble around work waiting for 4:30 break. whew . made it now get high. get really really paranoid. because more people are starting to come in . get it together and get off work at 6:30..get high on drive home..get high at home..get high till 11:30 am. go to bed..all this time no food and my thoughts focused on the weekend when i could party and REALLY get high..there has got to be a better way !..thanks MIP for helping me see there is. im Anthony and yes..im an addict.
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" If you have built castles in the air , your work need not be lost ; that is where they should be . Now put the foundations under them . "
YOu sure are anthony LOL and thats one helluva pattern you have to break.
One thing about thoughs of us who THINK TO MUCH is shutting that thinking off cause eventually its going to tell you something that you should ignore and it usually feels like the right thing to do, that voice that tells us to get high because,,,,, for no better reason and we dont need one just sounds good and feels right to hell with everything.
So start replacing thoughs thoughts with prayer and meditation it takes practice but believe me your going to have opportunitys to work on this LOL
Good talking to you yesterday glad you called glad your reaching out thats what it takes.
I'm having a down afternoon seems working this last 3 days on a big project has now brought me to my knees and I have to sleep and rest up. sometimes I over do thing thats the addict in me but i really dont have a choice if i'm ever to get ahead of the game out here, california aint such a great place to be its getting really expensive to live drive and even eat but its what we got.
yep vin, thats the deal ,dumping it out there then breaking the cycle of self centeredness..every night at work at least once i check the clock and think " its time " but i catch it. find something to do till it passes..read the book . 15 days now..HOW THE HELL DID I DO THAT ????? .and tks for taking that call .
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" If you have built castles in the air , your work need not be lost ; that is where they should be . Now put the foundations under them . "
.and tks for taking that call .
