so i just celebrated 18 months and i'm sort of happy about that.
but then again i'm sort of in this situation. i just finished working my 4th step and i've been trying to get together with my sponsor to share it and its been a few weeks now and she works alot now and so i haven't been that pushy over it. but lately i've been getting this feeling of being avoided and the last time we spoke she told me she's just in a bad spot with her gf and stuff and flat out said she's been less in the program. and i understand but then i think about it and in general over the past few months she's given up her service position and hasn't found another one, she doesn't go to meetings regularly now that she's gotten her new job and she also told me its hard for her to reach her sponsor because of the schedule differences.
but yeah, i guess, i was wondering what you guys would do in this situation, whether to try to stick it out (i've been working with her for a little over a year) or try to find someone more rooted in the program to approach as my sponsor. when do you know when to move on and when to stay?
Go to a meeting a nshare what you can get some of it out dont always rely on others to be there you got the group and your higher power still and you also have the literature to read I often find myself in the book and FIND MYSELF.
Thanks for sharing and BIG HUGE CONGRATUALTIONS on 18 months I am so proud of you for working so hard, doing the 4th steps is a big hurdle CONGRATs CONGRATS CONGRATSSSSS
By what you share, I guess your Sponsor has expressed in an indirect way that he/she wouldn't be available to you as before. Maybe, it's time to look out for another member to guide you through the Steps?
For me, talking about such a situation with my ex-Sponsor itself (my Sponsor of that time) has helped in moving on...
Thanks for sharing, NA Hugs.
-- Edited by Tahir at 07:46, 2008-06-10
__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
I'm always so impressed when recovering addicts know when it's time to consider a new sponsor. No more settling for a relationship that isn't working. It's not even so much a judgment of the other person, but more about going after recovery. Very cool.
As Tahir said, I would let her know that you're thinking of moving on and tell her why. And then start looking.
From my experience of letting go of sponsors and being let go of by sponsees, it's all good. It's all about each of us getting what we need for our recovery. As a sponsor, if I'm not meeting the needs of the sponsee, then I would hope s/he would take action to find someone who does. As a sponsee, I'm all about getting the best recovery I can for myself. If my current sponsor doesn't help me with that, then you bet I'm going to talk about it and then move on if I need to.
hey everyone thanks for your advice. it really helps, i've also asked around and basically everyone sort of says the same thing, to at least approach my sponsor first about it and see where it goes. so yeah, i'm going to do that and see what happens. thanks again
