I am new to this on the computer. I have a finacee who is an addict and uses alot more. He has been clean for a while and he is on probation. He just recently went back out and I don't know what to do. I talked to my sponsor and she said that she we call his po if that was her. She told me to pray on it and to see how I felt about it. I am still scared to call. Please give me some suggestions. I truely love this man and want to see him do go but all I can do is love him.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I haven't heard or read of any recommendations on relationships in NA except to stay out of one for the first year.
If I had a sponsee in this situation, I would ask you questions like:
What choices can you make that will protect and advance your recovery? Your spirituality? Your children? What choices can you make that will set a good example for your children? After all, you are their primary role model and have a responsibility to them. I've heard it suggested to stay out of relationships with newcomers; does this now apply to you? I've also heard it suggested that spending time with a using addict can jeopardize one's recovery. Is your recovery in jeopardy if you remain in this relationship?
Over time I might ask more, but I would start here.
I was in a relationship while trying to maintain my recovery. It was so hard and I ended up having to leave him because I had to put myself first. I still love him to this day, but I want a drug free life therefore I cannot and will not associate with anyone who is using. I had to let him go!
Thanks for sharing. Hope and pray that he makes it to recovery eventually, just like many of us did, in our Higher Power's own time.
Through working the program, especially the first Three Steps, I have come to realize that much exists over which I have no power, that I only need to take responsibility for myself and trust the Higher Power to take care of the rest. Accepting this truth gives me the permission to be at peace with what is beyond my power, and to find the strength I need to just let it be.
__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
