I am so glad to have found this forum. I am 44 years old, married mother of 2. I am really struggling right now. I have used alcohol and substances since I was 15 years old. But I am having a really hard time describing myself as an addict or alcoholic. I have it in my head that an addict/alcoholic is someone who has lost everything...drinks or uses until there's nothing left. Been in jail, lost their job, lost their family and friends. I am not that person. I use/drink to numb out my feelings. But I only use enough to get high...once I'm high, I'm happy to stop until I start coming down. Then I want some more. Am I totally wasted? No. My husband has no clue this is going on. My kids don't know this is going on. My job doesn't know this is going on. I am totally functioning. I can wait until I am home for the day/night and then use/drink. I crave getting high only when I'm through with my "responsibilities" for the day (ie. driving around, working, etc). I know I am a substance abuser. If I don't have my drug of choice, then I use what I do have. So, I have no problem admitting that I have a problem. But when I go to meetings, and I am suppose to introduce myself as an addict, then I have a problem. I have a wonderful family, a beautiful home, a great job. I have done some things that I am not proud of recently and am very lucky that they didn't result in some very serious consequences. So I know I need help. Am I at the right place? I want to figure out how to get and stay clean. Right now, I am 4 days sober (since 4/2/08). Thanks for listening.
You are welcome to go check out some meetings to see if they work for you. You can be honest there just like you are here. Tell the truth and see what happens.
Can you stop using if you want to? Do you want to?
Something to keep in mind is that addiction is progressive. It sounds like you are already seeing yourself do some things that could have very serious consequences. That's a red flag that some progression is happening already.
Will you believe you're an addict if you lose your nice house and your nice job and your nice family?
Your not that person YET and if you honestly see that whats going on is a problem do not ignore that continue to be honest and look at the bigger picture. sounds like you have everyone fooled but yourself and you know yourself better then anyone thats why you came asking for help you know you may be in trouble and troubles probably on the way.
So welcome to NA when I go to NA meetings I say I'm an addict when I go to AA I say i'm an alcoholic because i am both but one likes to keep addictions separate then the other, NA doesn't really I have found NA says alcohol is a drug.
My name is Beth and I'm an addict. I can't say whether or not someone else suffers from the disease of addiction, but I am one. When I came into the rooms of NA I knew I used a lot. After a little time I could even admit that I was an addict. It took more than a year to have a true acceptance of the fact that I am an addict. I, too, was a functioning addict when I was using. My family didn't know and I worked and no one knew. I knew. I felt spiritually void. I couldn't cope with feeling things and looked forward to the next fix. Our Basic Text "Who's an Addict?" helped me with my acceptance. I began reading the book each day and going to 90 meetings in 90 days and talking to recovering addicts. I grabbed the "WHo's an addict" pamphlet and took the test and passed with flying colors. Addiction is a progressive disease and I found myself doing things I swore I'd never do. WHen I came into the rooms I focused on all of the differences between me and other people. (I hadn't been to jail, hadn't prostituted myself or shot up, I hadn't lost a job or been homeless.) I was told to concentrate on all of the similarities. It took more and more to get me high. I couldn't stop using. My life was unmanagable. I felt insane. I couldn't cope with life on life's terms. This is just my experience. I don't know if it helps you or not. Try a meeting in your area and listen with an open mind. Keep coming back; it works if you live it.
Thank you to all who responded to my introduction. I did some online research tonight and found a website (addictions and recovery.org) that offered me some very interesting insight...
What is Addiction?
A substance addiction meets two criteria:
You have difficulty controlling how much you use or how long you use. For example, one drink leads to more drinks, or one line of cocaine leads to more.
You continue to use even though it has negative consequences to your life. For example, you continue to drink even though it has hurt your relationships.
Those two criteria define all addictions. They are true for alcohol and drug addiction, but they're also true for gambling addiction, eating disorders, and sexual addiction.
There are different levels of addictions. At one end of the spectrum is the non-functioning addict. They've lost their job and have to use everyday. It's what people think addiction is like, but that stereotype is rare.
At the other end of the spectrum is the functioning addict. They still have a job and their relationships are relatively intact, but their life is suffering because of their addiction. That is the most common scenario. You don't have to suffer major losses to have an addiction.
The consequences of addiction get worse over time. Addiction is a progressive disease. It's never easy to quit. But if you've already suffered negative consequences and don't want them to get worse, there's never a better time to quit than now.
Based on the above, I am an addict. My use HAS progressed. In addition, I have difficulty controlling how much I use. I find myself telling myself "I'm not going to drink/use today" and then I find an excuse to do just that. The negative consequences - the most apparent one is feeling like crap for days on end after drinking or using. Recently, I got extremely LUCKY that something much more serious did not happen but it was the wake-up call that I think I needed. I realized how close I was to losing a lot. (ie. arrest, loss of my job) Like you, Beth, I can say "I am an addict/alcoholic" but I don't think I really, REALLY believe it yet. I will work on that. I will continue to go to meetings and I will continue to come here, to this forum. Thank you all for listening.
Hi ,, May i add some ?? Well as i read in the Baisc Text of Narcotics Anonymous it says clearly we are not interested in what or how much you used. they are asking me what my problem is and how NA can help !!! Moreover as ive understood many definitions and theroies have been written on the nature of addiction,,but NA primarily c0oncerns itself with the NATURE OF RECOVERY !! Once an addict always an addict is therfore a lie,,the old lie is dead !! Welcome and hugs from a recovering addict in faraway India !
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Hi not sure. Thanks for your shares. It took me quite a while before I decided that I was qualified to be an addict. I wished I had recognized it sooner than I did. I functioned quite well up until the final weeks before I quit using achohol and drugs. As everyone says, this disease is progressive.
Welcome to MIP and we all look forward to hearing more from you.
kenh
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.
Wow! You sound just like me. When I first came into the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous, I didn't want to be labeled an addict either. After showing up for awhile, listing to other addicts share their experience, strength and hope, I realized, that's just what I am. I'm an addict and have been clean now for over 15 months. Thank God for Narcotics Anonymous!
I thought I was a functioning addict too. I had all the stuff that you mentioned and it's just now that I'm in recovery, that I'm starting to lose some of it, because of choices and decisions that I made during the last year of my addiction.Thank God for the rooms and the people of Narcotics Anonymous, because with out them, Im sure Id be dead by now, or on my way to it!Only you can decide if youre an addict and my suggestion is to go to a meeting and just check it out.
Thank God for Narcotics Anonymous.Thank God for sponsorship.Thank God for another twentyfour hours clean!
my name is terri and i was that person who would not share who i was and what i had become i am a single mom who had a few years clean in 90 i let a choice lead me in to destruction i thought i could use normally huh that lead me into well jail which i am grateful for that i now have well a clean life going on 12years yes it is hard but explaining to children and family is easy learning for yourself a new way of life is completely the difficult time we all go thru issues its are souls that bring us together no matter what if you need to talk give me a line you r doing alot of soul searching in yourself which i would feel proud you want to change its your choice you want the help it is here for you we are all one in are distinct values we all have the same dysfunction in life drugs/alc just take it a sec or min then 1/2 hour then hour then 3 and so on life is too short as one day you will wake up and the kids are grown and you missed it all have a blessed day and ust stay T or email me ok be safe
. Addiction is a progressive disease and I found myself doing things I swore I'd never do. WHen I came into the rooms I focused on all of the differences between me and other people. (I hadn't been to jail, hadn't prostituted myself or shot up, I hadn't lost a job or been homeless.) I was told to concentrate on all of the similarities. It took more and more to get me high. I couldn't stop using. My life was unmanagable. I felt insane. I couldn't cope with life on life's terms. This is just my experience. I don't know if it helps you or not. Try a meeting in your area and listen with an open mind. Keep coming back; it works if you live it.
