Came upon this reflection this morning... Just sharing it thinking it might help another like it helped me today...
Almost everyone wants something/or nothing.
Bargains attract. Finding a good value excites us, and we share the news quickly. Wanting anything for free is human nature perhaps. However, we have had to learn again and again that you get what you pay for. This is true of human interactions too.
Why do we think that others will be there for us if we aren't available for them? Having friends means being a friend, even if it's time-consuming. Although friendship's rewards are indisputable, we still tend to wait, letting the other person make the first move. Getting the other person to commit first reduces our effort, perhaps, but we will still receive according to what we give.
Knowing and utilizing this principle simplifies our lives. Once we master it, we never forget it. And what we bring to our relationships will be given back to us.
I am willing to give to others what I want in return today. Their efforts will match my own.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Seems there was this group of Twelve Step members taking a boat ride to this island called Serenity, and it was truly a happy bunch of people. As the boat pulled away from the dock, a few on board noticed Mary running down the street trying to catch up with the boat. One member said, "Darn, shes missed the boat." Another said, "Maybe not. Come on, Mary! Jump in the water! Swim! Swim! You can make it! You can catch up with us!" So Mary jumped into the water and started to swim for all she was worth. She swam for quite a while and then started to sink. The members on board, now all aware that Mary was struggling, shouted, "Come on, Mary! Don't give up! Drop the rock!" With that encouragement, Mary started swimming again, only to start sinking again shortly afterward. She was going under when she heard all those voices shouting to her, "Mary, drop the rock! Let go and drop the rock." Mary was vaguely aware of something around her neck, but she couldn't quite figure out what it was. Once more, she gathered her strength and started swimming. She was doing quite well, even gaining a little on the boat, but then she felt this heaviness pulling her under again. She saw all those people on the boat holding out their hands and hollering for her to keep swimming and shouting, "Don't be an idiot, Mary! Drop the rock!"
Then she understood when she was going down for the third time: This thing around her neck, this was why she kept sinking when she really wanted to catch the boat. This thing was the "rock" they were all shouting about: resentments, fear, dishonesty, self-pity, intolerance, and anger were just some of the things her "rock" was made of. "God help me get rid of the rock," she prayed. "Now! Get rid of it!" Mary managed to stay afloat long enough to untangle a few of the strings holding that rock around her neck, realizing as she did that her load was easing up. Then, with another burst of energy, she let go. She tore the other strings off and dropped the rock.Once free of the rock, she was amazed how easy it was to swim, and she soon caught up with the boat. Those on board were cheering for her and applauding and telling her how great she was, and how it was so good having her with them again, and how now they could get on with the boat ride and have a nice time. Mary felt great and was just about to indulge in a little rest and relaxation when she glanced back to shore. There, a ways back, she thought she saw something bobbing in the water so she pointed it out to some others. Sure enough, someone was trying to catch the boat, swimming for dear life but not making much headway. In fact, it looked like the person was going under. Mary looked around and saw the concern on the faces of the other members. She was the first to lean over the rail and shout, "Hey, friend! Drop the Rock!"
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Our goal in recovery is to make ourselves feel comfortable, peaceful, content, happy. We want to be at peace with ourselves and our environment. Sometimes, to do that, we need to be willing to face, feel, and get through discomfort.
I am not talking about being addicted to misery and pain. I am not talking about creating unnecessary pain. I'm talking about the legitimate discomfort we sometimes need to feel as we heal.
When we do the kind of work we are facing in recovery, we are doing an emotional, mental, and spiritual surgery on ourselves. We're removing parts of us that are infected and inflamed.
Sometimes the process hurts. We are strong enough to survive discomfort and temporary feelings of emotional pain. Once we are willing to face and feel our discomfort and pain, we are almost to the point of release.
Today, I am willing to face my discomfort, trusting that healing and release are on the other side. Help me, God, be open to feeling whatever I need to feel to be healed and healthy. While I am doing this, I will trust I am cared for and protected by myself, my friends, my Higher Power, and the Universe.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great.
Acceptance may be one of the most difficult things to learn, for it means we must give up the desire to control our life and its outcome. Once we have truly received this great gift we will learn that acceptance need not take away our strength - on the contrary, we will have an inner strength we never thought possible.
When we decided to meet the challenge of life in recovery we took the first step toward acceptance - we accepted the fact that we have a disease, a chronic disease that will always be with us. By accepting this fact we will be able to cope with our lifelong struggle. This way we willingly accept the fellowship of our other members in NA and the wisdom they offer us. They have been where we are coming from, they have suffered as we suffer, and they have felt the hope we now feel.
We are being offered a way of life that, if we follow it, will bring us a peace of mind we may never have felt. By our surrender we are now willing to receive something that is being offered to us - the beginning of a new way of life.
Today let me accept my powerlessness and any help.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
