I feel so much better after having come back from our area convention. It was a great, enlightening & breakthrough experience, being part of this convention.
I overcame a few of my blocks that continued to haunt me from my active addiction, and yes, the way I found freedom from this anxiety and fear was by applying my Third Step right there on the first day of the convention. The relief and the security I felt after having made the decision to turn over my will and life to my Higher Power's care was a feeling that I can never forget and cherish for the rest of my life. I felt so light, like wool, as if it was not me, but some Power Greater than me that has encompassed me and made me but a part of this Power. I lost all my inhibitions, my fears, my anxiety, my limitations - Indeed, my sufficiency is of my Higher Power.
Each and every share of the Convention Speakers touched me deeply, made my heart swell and brought overwhelming tears to my eyes. There were serene eye-opening one-on-one moments with other members through out the convention that took me to a higher level of awareness. I'm grateful to all those members who were a part of this convention and who shared what my Higher Power wanted me to listen and have through their experiences, inspirations and support. I have come back richer from the convention, with a fresh urgency to act, to make use of what I have picked up from this convention, and to find greater freedom and joy from my addiction.
And yes, for the first time, after half a dozen conventions before, I danced, continuously, for an hour and a half. I forgot myself, found myself losing into a greater whole, dancing with Oneness, with the Spirit of Recovery. When I did open my eyes and looked around while dancing, I realized that there was no "me" and there was no "them", that there were no "others", just Oneness, moving in a motion vibrating with spiritual energy, filling me with bliss. What an experience.
I was also very grateful for a few other NA couples whose presence in my life and my wife's life (she is also NA) has brought such love, care and brightness that I feel so blessed and overwhelmed with the fact that my Higher Power does provide me with what I yearn and desire for sincerely from within my heart (not from my sick head)... lol... WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
The way these other NA couples embraced us (me and my wife), the way they express their care and their concern, I have seldom experienced before to this level. We also went to Ooty with another couple after the convention, had a great time, enjoying intimate moments and sharing lots of recovery and program with each other.
When I think of how my Higher Power works when I open my mind and become willing, I sometimes get a feeling that now it would be too hard, nay impossible, to be able to give away this program & fellowship and turn my back. I'm stuck here in NA and I'm lovin' it all
Thank you all for my life, and for sharing this moment of gratitude and joy with me.
Hugs, love, light - Tahir.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
We also went to the nearby famous Ranganathittu Bird Sanctuary on the River Cauvery tributary from the Convention where many birds from far off places like North & South America, Russia & the Arctic apart from the local birds from Asia show up at this time for to build nests and hatch their young ones. What a serene place to be in, watching one of nature's amazing miracles unfold. Not to forget the 40+ ferocious-looking crocs scattered on this sanctuary waters and land.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Sounds like a good spot. I was drilling oil wells last June near the Cauvery River and almost on the coast 400 km South of Chennai. It was a nice place to be working. The village location was called Agraharam.
kenh
-- Edited by Kenh at 11:14, 2008-03-12
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.