I was out walking my dog, going over the day in my mind (and FREEZING), thinking I'd stay in tonight and read. The it dawned on me my son's 22nd Bday...and my 18th month anniversary! So I called my sponsor...he said it was the best news he had all day!
It's wonderful being clean after using for 38 years. Thank you NA for giving me a new way to live!!!!!!!
Thanks everyone. For an addict who never put more then a few days together over 38 years of using, it doesn't seem possible.
Using, hmmm, why did I use? Now that I'm not using, I can see many ways drugs were a crutch for my character flaws, and get me from facing life on it's terms. But while using, one of the main ideas was IT MADE ME FEEL GOOD. In retrospect I can ask myself did they really make me feel good? And if so, could I only feel good under the influence? What did that say about my mental health??
If I can put drugs down, and find a new way of living, ANYBODY CAN. Give yourself a brake, stop beating yourself up. If you can't see any downside to using, you have the same selective memory I have. Like watching 1/2 a movie.
Today I am grateful for the actions of others whom have made this path possible for me (+any addict) to follow
I loved that last line, I sometimes in prayer thank God for What I have and what I don't have and on the other hand it was certain things people said to me that opened my eyes and made me look hard at myself, yeah they hurt but not nearly as much as I was hurting them.
Thanks for sharing Dave glad to have you here with US.
Glad you're here with us, NA Hugs and fellowship love.
__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
