My mother is a pharmacist and has always had a very friendly relationship with her patients, which I think is fine, but I have a problem with one of her patients, I'll call him Mr. A.
Mr. A and his wife have been friends with my parents for roughly 10 years. My mother and his wife come from similar backrounds, they are both imigrants from the same country, and share a couple interests. Mr. A had some sort of accident a long time ago and now has some sort of "chronic back pain disease" and has deteriorated significantly. He (legally) takes so many opiates that he has trouble staying awake at times and has to take stimulants to keep him awake. He also takes antianxiety medications and seditive to fall asleep at night. His personal hygiene poor and and decreasing.
He and his wife moved to another state, but recently moved back and his condition is worsening. He relied on my parents for help moving back here. For the last two nights he has showed up, uninvited, and spent 3-4 each time staying rather late, (not everyone is on disability and has work in the morning). He complains that his wife is drinking excessively. I don't know how much exactly but it concerns him. We tell him the same thing over and over, get help, AA, psychiatrists, ect. He doesn't do anything about it, just comes over, eats our food, makes my parents pity him, and complains constantly. I told my parents that this is unprofessional and it will continue to escalate. I want this guy out of our home, but my parents are too polite to tell him to go away. We don't want him as a friend anymore. What can I do to protect my home?
Hi Chance, Wow! It sounds like a case of unclear boundaries. If they were never established in the first place, it would of course be especially challenging to do so now, however critical they appear to be now. Though I'm not familiar with the legal/ethical protocol set forth by your mom's medical association, I imagine it could be potentially explosive if and/or when an addict is involved. As an opiate addict myself, I know I would've LOVED to have had a "pharmaceudical" friend! If your mom is still his pharmacist, she needs to investigate her liability in what seems a dual relationship with a patient. Any way you slice it, your mom needs to consider the motives of an (unaccountable and untreated) addict seeking the companionship of a pharmacist. And more to the point, her own (co-dependent) investment in this friendship.
I find it interesting that you are the one that is bothered by this situation more than you family. You are an Adult child I assume living in your parent's home? If so your parent's don't have to answer to you or anyone else about what they do or don't so. Unless they are causing harm to another human being. I don't mean to sound harsh but that is the way it is.
If this Gentleman is that ill and he is taking prescribed medication in amounts that can be or are a potential danger or fatal dose. Then the people responsible is your Mother or your family, not the one that is too ill to care for himself.
If it's like a situation that I was in before. Something has to give! I have to take care of myself because I am my own responsibility. God's in Control but I am Responsible for my choices.
The other thing that I wanted to say is that Chronic Pain in any form can give a person "No HOPE" making them "depressed," feeling worthless, angry, empty, lonely, and many other feelings. The only one that can lift me out of the "PIT" that you are referring too has been "The Lord."
Ask, seek, and Knock, and the door shall be opened to you,
I have to take care of myself because I am my own responsibility. God's in Control but I am Responsible for my choices.
