Hi.... I know I should not be here. With the problem I'm looking at, I should probably call the cops or DCF, that would be the logical step. But I feel at this point it would only do more harm than good.
My sister has admitted to me that she is doing heroin, vicodins, and I don't know what else. She said she's on nothing else, but I just don't believe her at this point.
Last week, she started confessing to me that her and her husband (who uses, too) have had a succession of visions over the past week, and that angels have visited them, God is speaking to them (okay, not in a good way, seriously..) that they are blacking out and re-experiencing the past, and also, in the blackouts, they are visited by God. What they say that God says to them is that they will get pregnant soon, and that the baby is going to be the second coming of Christ. They both speak to me in fluctuating voices between panicked whispering and elated shouting. I really think they are going over the edge.
While I know that there is nothing that I can do to save/help them, unless they want to help themselves, they have two small kids at home who are witnessing this. One is old enough to know that something is seriously wrong.
What I need you to understand is that these are good people. They love their children fiercely, they would do anything for their kids. They work their butt off all day to ensure that they have (the kids) proper care. They want to do the right thing. They admit to me that they know they have a problem with drugs. But they honestly, seriously are having these delusions that I know for a fact are drug induced, and there seems to be a downward spiral going on here. They have just been rocked with personal tragedy, on both sides, and I think this is part of the reason they are getting worse. I am nervous to call them, because I don't know what to say when they say these things, but I know they need to talk to someone. They've ostracized all of their friends, their family has disowned them, and they literally have NO one... And I mean NO one, except one seriously drugged-out, delusional friend that probably encourages these fantasies.
What can I do here? If I call DCF, their kids are gone, and maybe for good. That would kill them, and I just don't feel it's the right thing to do. However well intentioned DCF is, I've seen some terrible cases where DCF meant well, but just tore the family to pieces. I don't want to start that.
We've offered to let them come live here while they detox. We decided on a story to tell the kids; that they just got sick, and are living with us while they get well. I trust them beyond belief. I don't think they'd bring drugs into our house, and they're decent, kind-hearted people. They just need help. What do I do? Where do I turn? My heart is breaking for them! thank you so much in advance for reading, and just for having a place to get all this out.
yep,,,I hear you Heather !! scary,confusing(bewildering) and evil to say the least,, when "LIVE" gets turnd around it becomes EVIL !!! God Give you strength in this hour of need !!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
You may want to visit a Naranon meeting in your area. Naranon offers support to the families and friends of addicts. Here is a website with a meeting list:
http://nar-anon.org/naranongroups.htm
May I be so bold as to offer a couple of suggestions? Take them or leave them as you wish.
- The goal of DCF is to help families. If the children are removed, it is because they are in danger and the parents will need to remedy that before the children can return home. DCF will always try to reunite families and will provide the resources necessary for this to happen. It sounds as if this family needs help. If it were me, I would call DCF and try to get some help for them.
- Please do not invite active addicts into your home. You cannot save them. You cannot rescue them. The disease of addiction is very powerful; it will wreck your life even though you're not the one using. Active addiction is completely and totally insane, as you are seeing for yourself. Please keep your home a safe and sane environment for yourself and your family. The best you can do is try to get them professional help.
Thank you so much for you kind words... I know they are not easy to say.
I think I just need someone to tell me if calling DCF or some other government agency is the right thing to do, just needed someone to give me permission. It's hard to do this to family..... But it's not right, where they are and what they are doing. I think maybe you're right. I will contact my family tonight and tell them what's going to happen. Perhaps we can keep the kids in the family while this all goes down. God, this hurts so much... I love them so much.
I looked up your suggestion, and I think it is a very good idea for us family to go to naranon meetings. I had never heard of that before. Thank you for all of your help! You are a god-send!
ANYTIME THERE ARE CHILDREN INVOLVED CALL AND GET HELP. "THE POLICE," CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES.
I HAVE ALREADY GONE THROUGH DRUGS IN MY HOME MYSELF WITH MY OWN CHILD WHEN HE WAS USING. I HAD TO REPORT HIM AND IF YOU THINK THAT DIDN'T HURT YOU NEED TO RETHINK IT. bUT A NEIGHBOR REPORTED HIM FIRST FOR DEALING DRUGS. NASTY MESS.
MY CHILD IS STILL NOT IN RECOVERY AND IS STILL OUT THERE IN THE SYSTEM BECAUSE HE WON'T STOP PARTYING RUNNING AND DOING IT HIS WAY. I DID IT TOO!
WHEN I HAD AN EX-BOYFRIEND LIVING WITH ME BEFORE I GOT CLEAN AND SOBER 14 YEARS AGO HE HURT MY SON NOT TO MENTION ALL THAT I WAS DOING TO HIM EMOTIONALLY WITH MY DRINKING AND USING TWEEKING OUT IN THE HOUSE AT ALL HOURS.
SO PLEASE CALL FOR HELP FOR THOSE CHILDREN NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW.
(((((My heartfelt prayers to Ladykismet, her sister, kids & family)))))
Ladykismet, don't worry too much about these delusions, I've come upon many such similar delusions in active addicts. A detox followed by treatment will take care of such addicts. It's just a symptom of excessive drug abuse, especially if the substance is hallucinatory.
The greatest help I've found I can do for a loved one who is a suffering addict is to accept the fact that I cannot possibly help them all alone, being too close to them.
I'm sure, in time, and with professional help, all will be well.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
