man you think one day I would learn I cannot do the same thing over and over expecting different result I thought I had a x boyfriend back in my life and come to find out once again I am okay for him to be with while he is fucked up my first mistake (an active addict) I went to check on him because someone said he got hurt and so I went to see that he was ok then with the weight I lost ?he gave me alot of attention and it felt good then we spend some alone time nothing serious just not alone and tat was great but there is where the expecrtaions came in knowing better but yesterday was so different I wanted to be with someone so bad I thought "what if" yea I am a fuck up I know how could I be loveable I have to see who I am first an if I can't do that why would I think I could be there for someone else??? I guess I will just remember I am beautiful and will continue to lose weight but I am still the same on the inside and If I do not take the time to do my steps I am going to be writing something simular when I try again WTF guess my HP has me beat
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
betrayed 
