Hello all, I'm new to NA. I'm an addict and I have been clean for 2 weeks.
Like a lot of people, I began using after being prescribed legitimate medicines for a painful, chronic medical condition. It's something I've lived with since the age of 13 and something I will continue to deal with for the rest of my life, on and off.
I went from legitimate medical use, to abuse. When in the hospital (say recovering after surgery), I would go from legitimate need, to want.
I've had problems with many other substances in my life, but the thing that worries me most is what to do if/when I really do need medicine again. Once people see that you're an addict, it's almost like the "Boy Who Cried Wolf."
How is anyone in my life ever going to take a complaint of legitimate pain seriously again? And if NA is about complete and total abstinence from mind-altering substances, what does that include? Under what circumstances is it okay to accept medical treatment? Does this include over-the-counter remedies like Benedryl? Sudafed? Caffeine??
I know this probably sounds like bargaining or an irrelevant technicality, but I've been really preoccupied with it lately.
Dealing with chronic illness, pain, and medication is a great topic - and a tough one. You may be interested in reading the booklet, "In Times of Illness." As far as I know, NA as a whole does not take a stand or have an opinion about when it's okay or not to use medication. The responsibility of that decision lies with each individual.
When I entered recovery, I had some very serious and painful health issues that were the result of a car accident and ensuing surgeries. During the first twelve years of my recovery, I spent a lot of time in the hospital and was given pain medication while there. I have had four surgeries in recovery (not counting wisdom teeth) and in some cases used pain medication at home while recovering.
From that experience and the lessons learned, here are some suggestions I would make to you and to anyone dealing with pain and medication in recovery:
- Talk about all the the secret little thoughts in your head EVERY DAY and with the same person or small support group. Be brutally honest even if embarrassing or ego-deflating.
- Keep a pain log. Are some days better/worse than others? Over time do you see patterns or triggers that you can change or avoid?
- Do not count on your doctor to keep you clean. Staying clean is your job, so make a plan for how you will use your medication BEFORE you start taking the medication.
- Ask your doctor to explain the purpose or goal of the medication: How do you know when you are taking enough, too little, or too much?
- Write down the time and quantity of each dose taken.
- Make as many meetings as you can and share about your experience. However, it is not appropriate to share in a meeting when you are under the influence of pain medication, so during those times, go to listen and share with your sponsor/support group outside of the meeting.
y3s,,ZEE,, I had surgery for gall bladder removal about 24 months ago,, what helped was having NA members by my side after surgery,(our bodies cant tell difference between med.prescribed by a doc and med we take to feed our addiction !) talking to my sponsor about it explaining to docs and nurses about my "allergy" to "downers" and reading,writing and Meditation !! my fa,mily and friends circle too stod by me,, nad tho the recovery from that surgery was long drawn,,the med.stopped just two days after surgery !! I was on calmpose fro age 15 when i was diagnosed with sleep disorder,,, ever since i felt less than other kinds and used more along the way to feel better than,, basically a small man hiding big ego is what was. now the 12 Steps have granted me complete freedom and movement within society(though at time long hair can make me looka freak !!!ha,ha,ha !!!)
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
What an awesome topic. I was in a meeting the other day that spoke anout this subject and I was able to share my experience, strength, and hope about my life on this subject. I am a Recovered Alcoholic, addict with Co-Occuring Disorders coming up on my Birthday of 14 years.
I started to self medicate as early as 7 on my Moms pills or sip champagne out of glasses at weddings. As young as 13 years old doing outlandish things for a child. When I was depressed I wanted something to wake me up so I would take beannies in those days. Then I would take reds or yellows to sleep because I could never sleep. Not even as a child my mind raced constantly and I did really weird things that other children wouldn't even think of doing.
When I finally got really ill PHYSICALLY and started shutting down the first time I was 28 years old. I was facing severe depression, chronic fatigue, Ebstein Barr, irritable bowel syndrome, hyterical personality disorder, and couldn't sleep with tremendous physical pain and various other Health problems including silicone leakage from implants I had put in in the years earlier. Not yet realizing the extent of this damage until after my pregnancy and delivery at 30 years old. My physical health was linked into my Mental Health as well as my physical health back and forth. I wasn't prepared for what was to come the next 8 years before I hit my last Bottom at 38 years old. I was reallly ill and having Seizures for 1 year before and one year after my last drunk and high that I was delivered from on the alter of God's Church ( another share). By this time I had had all my teeth fillings changed praying that would help my illness, I had spent 100,000 thousands of dollars on nutritionalist, and I.V B-12 shots, I had gone for therapy, for acupuncture, Breast implant surgery, you name it I tried it. They didn't know what was wrong with me. I hurt all the time felt like I was going to die, wished and prayed that I could but wouldn't. I got Sober Feb 19, 1994 and from that day forward my life has changed for the better. I have found out in Recovery that I am Bi-Polar, and I have Chronic Pain from Connective Tissue Disease, Fibromyalgia, So on. 6 to 7 years into my Recovery I found out I was Bi-Polar and was all my life from the time I was a little girl. That I should have been on medication from the time I was little I would never have drank or used. That I had been self medicating all my life because of the Mental illness. Then I went for years (8) plus without any type of pain relief for the pain. Listening to what all the people that didn't have M.D. or even D.V.M. behind there name in the rooms said. "BAD MOVE" Today, i I have a Lord in my Life, A husband, I have a Sponsor, I have a Doctor, A Therapist, A Physchiatrist, My medication, My Pastor, my meetings,. As long as my Doctor knows I am an Alcoholic and that I am taking my presciption as prescribed which I have for years. I am fine! My SPonsor and I know what is going on as well. My Doctor told me to tell anyone in the program that wants to say something about HIS/there TREATMENT with me. "BUTT OUT" he said. No one in the program has a right to suggest or take it upon themselves to diagnose anyone else in the rooms. I have been suicidal and so have other Manic Depressives if they stop or play with there medications it isn't a good thing.
The same goes for Pain Managment with Chronic Sufferers. Dr's oversee all my Health issues. I suffered in PAIN needlessly without any relief too long to have another ALcohlic or addict or non-professional say "Oh You WILL LOOSE YOUR SOBRIETY, OH YOU WILL START USING AGAIN because you are prescribed Medication.That is a LIE! I don't take Vicodine, or Codeine, or anything like that. Each one of us has the choice to pick up or not One Day at a Time. Today, I choose not too.
Thanks for the feedback everyone. I need to learn what pain is severe enough to require medication, and what isn't. In the past I've called 3/10 pain an 8/10, and that's simply inaccurate. I guess the thing with physical pain is that if I give myself an inch, the addict in me will take a mile. Also, having pain medicine prescribed "as needed," has always been a problem because I have convinced myself that I "needed" it round the clock. I guess keeping a pain diary would help me be more honest to myself.
One thing I wondered is whether anyone else found it hard to experience happiness or pleasure after detoxing. It almost feels to me like my threshold for pleasure has been all screwed up,... You go so long getting your happiness from a pill, it seems really hard to be happy, or even content, without it. It feels like more than just depression. Just a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I guess I feel like I've already peaked. I'm not even 30, and if I continue to stay clean I feel like that means I've already experienced the most happiness I'll ever feel. The only time I've experienced what I would call a "natural high," was when I first met my wife. That was the longest period of time I went without using, and it's because I had something much more valuable to enjoy.
I guess I might be experiencing some psychological withdrawal. I just keep having this feeling like I *need* some kind of medical help with this. I keep thinking, "there must be something I can legally take to make this awful feeling go away!" But I know where that line of thinking leads...
And the other thing is I wonder what mental illness I might have besides the addiction. I have been diagnosed with everything from major depression, to panic disorder, psychosis, bipolar, to even OCD. In all fairness, a lot of doctors got an inaccurate impression of me because they didn't know about the addiction. It just makes me wonder what is left underneath the substances, and whether or not it needs medical treatment. I've made my mental health picture so convoluted from all the using, I just wonder how long I have to be clean before I'm "me" again...
For me to experience life on lifes terms today I have to take medication today. For some others it may not be that way. As a woman I think it is easier for us to admit we need a Doctor's help before a man will. I have seen it over and over again in my life and I am 52 years old. Genetics play a huge part in our health make-up. God creates us each differently but exactly the way he wants us.
I suffered way to long without medication after getting Sober for too many years because of the Stigma attached to my Recovery and to mental illness. You know if we are Honest with Our God first he will lead us where we need to be. It is because of The Lords tender Mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His tender compassions fail not. Lamen 3:22.
Zeebot, you know your own body and how you feel. So keep track of your moods and write them down. If you have severe mood swings, and racing thoughts, can't sleep for days, even while working a good program something else may be amiss mentally causing physical pain. Depression causes physical pain as well. We have to see Our Doctors and let them know whats up though.
Using street drugs and alcohol instead of being under a doctors constant care, and being honest for 28 years. It had to have an effect on my brain chemistry. God can and will HEAL us so that we can walk in complete Freedom from all Health problems. It is our Faith that make that possible and Gods Will. But his healing sometimes has medication in it for some of us. ALways taken properly if we are going to walk in helpful abandon.
ALways tell your Doctor the truth about your alcohol and drug use don't ever be afraid of what the Doctors think. They are there to help you and they understand the disease better than you do. I take my medication and I am responsible in doing so today without abusing it. That shows me, the Doctors and the program that I need them and that they are part of my life.
It is 3 to 4 months of clean time I was told by my Sons physicians before they can give a proper diagnosis for any mental problem. So go back to the Doctor (Physchiatrist) and get re checked after you have been clean for 3 months.
Hi Raman, zeebot, blithespirit, sensejic may you all be having a BLESSED week.If it hasn't been then we shall start to pray for the upcoming weekend ahead to be joyfulful.
