you guys, i'm tired of going in circles, i realize that i can't have a job, and go to school, and do the things with my life that i want to do.. and have dope be apart of it.. it just doesn't won't work like that.. i thought maybe i was special and could find a way to do it.. but i can see where it's going.. i keep trying to capture that "good time" that i had in the past with drugs.. but now i'm not even sure when that was.. or if it ever was.. it seems like so long ago i don't even really remember it.. i'm just tired, i didn't have any fun.. the other times it was sumwhat enjoyable at least the first day or 2, but this felt like work from begining to end.. i
i read this thing about appreciating life.. and how if you feel hungry, sad, angry or anything bad, you should feel greatful.. because it means you are alive.. and have the privlege of feeling these things.. and you should be greatful for life.. because when it comes down to it.. if your drowning in the ocean the thing you want and appreciate the most is Air.. not your money.. car.. tv..
i'm sorry i put more negative stuff on the board than positive.. so i'm going to work on that
Well your realizing a lot of things this last year Scott so your on this journey as we all are . Live long enough and your eyes will be opened to many things . I am still finding out details of my life I dislike, like spending a whole week with my girl and not being a person you can depend on to stay in the same spirit more then an hour, my emotions are like a roller coaster. She pretty much keeps an even keel me i'm like up down up down up down LOL.
Tell you this much my life is so much better and pure then it was using, nothing but drugs meant anything to me . Today I'm realizing that other people want to be in my life and I make that difficult, thats a tough thing to admitt because some changes need to come about and I'm not sure what to do, for now I pray for Gods guidance for again I am lost.
I feel it all today Scott try to keep it together the best I can and pray a lot LOL lots of praying, hang in there buddy
Scott I learned at a early point in my recovery that insanity meant "practicing the same thing over and over expecting different result" but only you can decided to end this vicious circle you will find an overwhelming peace when you do good luck KEEP COMING BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scott- Just keep coming back no matter what. Just one day at a time. Do 90 in 90, call you sponsor daily and follow his suggestions, help others and read the literature daily and all will be well. It worked for me so it can work for you.
newcomers and others may be surprised and or confused about the time and effort we put in order to experience recovery thru our 12 Steps !!! but its clear,,, either put in the effort or the old ways catch up. Hwever one consolation is that i an addict were to put towards recovery even one fourth of the tiem and effort put to get and use more drugs,, then recovery becomes easy !!! Hugs Scott,,, you are doing better than feeeling, just keep coming back !!
__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
you guys, i'm tired of going in circles, i realize that i can't have a job, and go to school, and do the things with my life that i want to do.. and have dope be apart of it.. it just doesn't won't work like that..
what a life-saving realization that has been for me when I realized that I can't live like a person should or would want to - study, work, be physically and mentally healthy, socialize, love and be loved - if I continue using drugs. I can't have it all. I came to a point where it was either using drugs to it's bitter ends (jails, institutions, lunacy or death) or choose the other side of life - living and loving it CLEAN!
I was also so very sick and tired that my remedy of my pain (drugs) themselves became the biggest and unbearable pain for me, that they turned against me and held me hostage, at their mercy. I became a faithful slave to drugs. I was ready to let go of my family, health, career, dignity, integrity, values, sanity, life itself, to continue to use drugs. But drugs themselves became my most major problem, to such an extent that I just did not have time for other existential living problems at all
That's when I read something in our NA literature that made the most simple and clear sense to me at that time - that any addict can lose the desire to use and find a new way of life - a life filled with peace, joy and contentment beyond my wildest dreams. So glad that you've also come to that point of firm realization Scott. You can only get better from here if you choose life to using. NA Hugs and Fellowship Love to you. WELCOME BACK!
Please never worry about having to share life's pain with us. That's what NA is for. When I share my pain and my problems in NA, I ignite the process of healing where my pain and my problems get transformed into awareness, growth and gratitude with the help of the program and all of you. My recovery, my virtues, the spiritual principles that I practise today are all nothing but my disease of addiction and my defects of character ENLIGHTENED AND TRANSFORMED by exposing it all to the light of NA
__________________
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Scott wrote: i read this thing about appreciating life.. and how if you feel hungry, sad, angry or anything bad, you should feel greatful.. because it means you are alive.. and have the privlege of feeling these things.. and you should be greatful for life.. because when it comes down to it.. if your drowning in the ocean the thing you want and appreciate the most is Air.. not your money.. car.. tv..
i don't think this is neative at all. very beautiful. may i ask where you read this??
