Hi how are you all coping with the New years approach ?? here in Bangalore its an occasion for people to get drunk,stoned and all that because everyones doing that !! however me a recovering addict has to take care,, i cautiously include people into my space rather than fearfully exclude or indiscriminately involve with !!im doing a lot of shows in pubs,clubs and social circles,, i need the Program of recovery more than ever !!Im quite focueed on my work and what i do there= i go in .sound check,small meeting with client to sort out type of music,timing,payment,, i go on out,, Sereneity Prayer,, cal an NA friend or two,, go on back in play my music,, be greatful for applause,, when its over,, quietly leave after chatting appreciating people and giving cards etc. tonite i will be having another recovering addict in my band,, it helps,, otherwise I have to depend entirely on God and calls to other recovering addicts in NA,,, this nite i will also head for a fund raiser by NA for the Convention ahead,, so life goes on,,, Thank God and NA im clean and serene and enjoying life wthout the use of drugs,,, just for today !! sharings in this regard will be greatly appreciated !!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
The past year has been a time of settling down and rebuilding my life after many moves. I finally laid to rest the loss of my beloved home and cherished life that I left behind. Although I don't yet feel nearly that deeply connected in my new life, I am comfortable and have some hope.
This year I joined a home group and have become involved in Area Service in my new location. I have found a few meetings that I like and am beginning to know some people there. I went to a marathon meeting on Christmas eve and was pleasantly surprised at how many people I knew. I guess I've been doing better than I thought at meeting people in the new area.
Employment remains a challenge. I have three part-time jobs, so balance is an ongoing lesson! I am doing what I want and enjoy most of my work. However, my struggle is in my mind. Rather than being content, I am frequently plagued with the annoying thought that it's not good enough. I should be doing something more. I should have a title and make more money and blah blah blah.
I have not spent enough time in nature, which is where I find my serenity. On the other hand, I have pursued my creative interests through digital photography and artwork.
On the spiritual front, I feel that I have made tremendous progess this year in the area of letting go of ego and self-centeredness. My biases, emotions and reactions based on past experiences are slipping further and further away from me. I am more free and see more clearly than ever in my life. I have nearly 100% self-acceptance and frquently feel love toward others. Sometimes I find myself giving metta without even trying!
Having said all that, this time of year is always a mixed bag for me.
Christmas - No religious meaning. Some limited gift exchange, which is fun. I miss my family. The loss of my cousin this year has been hard.
New Year - A review of the past year. Excitement for the year to come.
January 2nd - my birthday - I'll be 47. I don't feel that old in my mind, but my body betrays me more and more.
January 4th - This year will mark the 30th anniversary of my mother's death. I usually feel sad on this day. I think about my mom and what she might have been like had she survived. I think about my mostly motherless life and how that might have differed as well. Sometimes I indulge in a little self pity.
January 11th - This year I will celebrate 23 years clean!
