The Maker of all Human Beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the mind and body. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Addiction, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed "Subsequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as defects of character, as it is primarily expressed.
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct these shortcomings.
The Repair Technician, herein referred to as God as you understand Him, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.
There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: 1-800-P-R-A-Y-E R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of shortcomings through the inventory procedure.
Next, download forgiveness from the Repair Technician, God as you understand Him, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the defect of character is, God will replace it with:
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will eventually result in the human unit being permanently impounded.
For free emergency service, call on your sponsor.
DANGER: The human being units never responding to this recall action will be doomed to repeat this cycle unless they follow the few simple rules above.
Thank you for your attention!
GOD
Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and that they may contact Him any time by "knee mail."
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
On the very first day, God created the cow. He said to the cow, "Today I have created you! As a cow, you must go to the field with the farmer all day long. You will work all day under the sun! I will give you a life span of 50 years."
The cow objected, "What? This kind of a tough life you want me to live for 50 years? Let me have 20 years, and the 30 years I'll give back to you." So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog. God said to the dog, "You are supposed to do is to sit all day by the door of your house. Any people that come in, you will have to bark at them! I'll give a life span of 20 years."
The dog objected, "What? All day long to sit by the door? No way! I give you back my other 10 years of life!" So God agreed.
On the third day, God created the monkey. He said to the monkey, "Monkeys have to entertain people. You've got to make them laugh and do monkey tricks. I'll give you 20 years life span."
The monkey objected. "What? Make them laugh? Do monkey faces and tricks? Ten years will do, and the other 10 years I'll give you back." So God agreed.
On the fourth day, God created man and said to him, "Your job is to sleep, eat, and play. You will enjoy very much in your life. All you need to do is to enjoy and do nothing. This kind of life, I'll give you a 20 year life span."
The man objected. "What? Such a good life! Eat, play, sleep, do nothing? Enjoy the best and you expect me to live only for 20 years? No way, man!....Why don't we make a deal? Since the cow gave you back 30 years, and the dog gave you back 10 years and the monkey gave you back 10 years, I will take them from you! That makes my life span 70 years, right?" So God agreed.
AND THAT'S WHY.... In our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play, enjoy the best and do nothing much. For the next 30 years, we work all day long, suffer and get to support the family. For the next 10 years, we entertain our grandchildren by making monkey faces and monkey tricks. And for the last 10 years, we stay at home, sit by the front door and bark at people!
"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
