How do I participate in NA when it is no longer my whole life

I don't understand the question Raman it doesn't make sense, maybe i'm just tired.....

Thanks Blithe,, I knew yd identify !!!

Great topic!

In my early recovery, I had plenty of time and there was nothing that I needed to do except NA fellowship & activities. I was making NA meetings whenever there is one. I was fellowshipping 24/7 with members at the other times. I was either with them face-to-face or over the phone/online. I read a lot of NA literature whenever I was home. I involved in group and area services. I had plenty of time for newcomers and sponsees.

But gradually, my recovery expanded by branching out in all areas of my life - I found work, I got married, I started taking more commitments and responsibilities in my daily life towards myself and my loved ones. I found myself unable to participate in NA fellowship activities as much as I was used to. And overtime, I realized that my Higher Power wants me to move towards a fuller and more balanced life emcompassing all areas of my life. And I also realized that it's time that I slowly and gradually accomodate all these new areas and experiences into my NA program, not the other way around

I also felt excited and grateful that I get to finally actually "live the NA program" not only inside NA fellowship but also in all areas of my life. The true meaning of Step Twelve "Practising the principles in all our affairs" finally dawned on me. I'm grateful that I had a caring Sponsor who guided me very smoothly during this transformation. I was told, "Work the program, not your problems; the rest shall fall into place" and I did just that.

But very soon, I found myself isolating and moving away from the fellowship, and obviously, as a consequence, my efficiency and performance in all these areas of my life that I was blessed with as a result of working the NA program started deteriorating. I started feeling very sick at times at mental, emotional, social and spiritual times. That's when I was told by my counselor to seek and strive towards a balanced recovery, where I can continue to base myself in the basics of the program and at the same time, use this grounding to transform my overall life. I started identifying my capacity and limitations.

Today, I make 3-4 NA face-to-face meetings a week instead of a meeting a day as I used to. I also make one or two online meetings a week to balance my lack of meetings on the other days whenever I get time.

I recognized my strengths and identified those areas in NA fellowship activities where I can contribute the best without my work, marriage and other commitments getting affected in the process. I took up one service commitment at a time, like I served as the alternate GSR for one year, and even though I could have contributed towards many other service areas and was suggested to take up many other service posts, I declined, recognizing my limits. After completing the term, I moved on to GSR that I continue to serve as now. My homegroup commitment I find is the most important for me today in my recovery. The more I contribute there, the more I am able to contribute towards my home

I have started saying "no" to members who seek sponsorship, being honest and fair with them rather than saying "yes" to all in the spirit of urgency to pass on and give more and then not be available for them as much as is needed.

I make it a point that I spend some qualitative time with members and newcomers at the cafe after those 3 meetings that I'm able to make today in a week. The rest of the nourishment that I need, I get online, from here and from the other two online groups that I'm a part of for which I'm much grateful.

Most importantly, I'm grateful that I've been given the awareness today that the reason I make meetings is because I need strength and hope of other recovering addicts that I can draw from this hour and a half that I'm at the meeting, and make use of this strength and hope in the rest of my 22 and a half hours of life outside NA And also am grateful for the awareness that I need to give in order to keep what I have. If I don't, then I lose what I have.

Today, I have learnt to also step back and allow newer members to take up service commitments, motivate them by sharing my experiences, strength and hope, and relax watching the miracle unfold through their efforts. I'm grateful to them all. It also helps me to connect to these relatively new members as they are more strongly grounded in the principles of recovery as I hear from them the powerful message of the basics that keeps my complacency in check. And I never hesitate to take back from the oldtimers their accumulated wisdom. This diverse help available in NA is what draws me to the fellowship. Just the balance that I need.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences, strength and hope with me in this thread. Another important way to grow, by taking from others what works for them and make use of it all

Raman, I do identify.

The way I participate in NA has changed over the years. I am an oldtimer, a dinosaur, and all too frequently oldtimers disappear from our meetings. So, why haven't I? Raman, why haven't you?

Truthfully, most of my friends, spiritual connections, hobbies, and interests are now outside of NA where at one time they were closely connected.

Does that mean I should no longer participate in NA? Of course not! It just means the ways in which I participate are changed.

After all, one of the primary goals of my recovery has always been to become a functioning member of society. In order to that, I first became a functioning member of NA. I submerged myself in NA for the first years of my recovery. I was then able to carry the skills I learned through service, step, and tradition work out in to the world. And here I am - in the world! It's what I've always dreamed of. It does not, however, mean that I have arrived and that I should toss all recovery to the wayside.

On the other hand, and I will be perfectly honest about this, too, sometimes it is very very difficult to stay connected or to feel connected. I love hearing and learning more about the principles of recovery, but sometimes the personalities are tedious. Sometimes I tire of what seems like the same old drama and negativity. Sometimes I show up to be of service and to be role model and not because I expect to get anything out of it. Occasionally I am pleasantly surprised to hear a wonderful message!

My sponsor says that being an oldtimer can be lonely. I find that is frequently true. Although we all share the same disease and many of the same perverted internal processes, we all also have very different experiences. Frankly, I find it challenging to find people in recovery with similar experiences - experiences that come with long-term recovery and gaining a life outside of NA.

My sponsor suggests that I now look for spiritual guidance and fulfillment in all areas of life. That it is not necessarily limited to NA. Again, does that mean that I leave NA altogether? No! It just means that my relationship with NA is changed.



-- Edited by Blithe Spirit at 07:28, 2007-12-06