Im back to an old practice,,, an almost everday thing i used to do but took time off from because of my house shift,, busy schedule etc,,, but did again this morning,, thats writing,, writing about incidents and examining my thoughts,motives and better ways has always worked wonders and has this time too !! Ive been trying to make meaning of too much of a lot of junk that was shared here and now am completely cleaned of that affect !! Funny how no matter how long Ive stayed clean and serene,, theres always that someone sometime trying to psych me out and get to believe im a bad guy and that their recovery is better !!! But guess what,, its a game,,, its ok,,I dont get psyched for so long anymore because I write it all out !! So as of now Im relieved of that junk ,,,thank God ! its not individuals,, but The 12 Step Tradition of NA that has all the answers,,, and Im greatful to be in the Circle too !!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Do people really try to do that? That's warped. Raman, I have a favour to ask... yeah, a total stranger has a favour to ask... I'm sort of in a bad space right now. I'm six months clean... a lot of my friends from my rehab haven't made it to six months. I mean I was told that of the twenty of us that were in the house together a lot of us would fall by the way side... Quite a few have gone back into treatment. Which is great. Keep coming back right. But it hurts you know. Losing people. People you become close to. When someone's using they don't want to see you and you can't really see them. "stick with the winners" and all that and besides that I'm in a different country from the one I went to rehab in. I just go across for visits. But anyway to get to the point. You posted a topic about being in love. You'll notice that I posted a response that's a question at the end of it. I need an answer. From you... from anyone... I'm in misery...I need to get back to being grateful and doing my stepwork but because of the above and what I posted I find myself... I don't know... unable to be just that GRATEFUL. I'm not working my recovery right now. I'm just dry. and it's not a good place to be.
Ok,, Ill go back to that post of mine and try to answer !! Howver regarding this I think both of us need to hear this= Just for today I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery ! This someone can be a sponsor,recovering friend,,, well intentioned recovering stranger !! It works !!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Chezda,,, heres a copy of what I posted in the other thread,,, In fact yes Chedza,, I humbly hand it over to Blithe,,, two things Id like to share from my experience= 1.Love is many splendoured,,,, it takes many forms,,, as you know too !! However when it comes to love affairs,, its Back to the Text= "relationships can be a terribly painful area because we tend to fantasize and project what will happen". The word relationship dosent necessarily mean love affair but the same thing can happen in a love affair,, my desires maynot be fulfilled leaving me feeling more inadequeate and feeling worthless !! the sad part in human relatiuonship is the parting,,, very few instances of letting go with love !!Affairs usually end with acusations,, tearing each others characters apart etc.. Now you know all this so it is easier to convey the message that at least in the first year we need to keep staying clean as top prioroty,,, Hook your recovery to the higest star and let nothing come between !!! 2. As far as ive experienced by way of correcetness,, it is sometimes best to get input from another member of the same sex,, especially regarding sexuality,gender problems as well as affairs of the heart. As ive observed,, and i may be wrong,, but all the same i think that men in recovery tend to use female recoverers as mother figures,,and females use men as father fugures,, thats ok, but in conext of life saving,, recovery oriented guidance,, these communications are not based on adult to adult equeations so whats best for my recovery may be missed out !! the underlying principle i try to practice in all my communications with others in recovery is this= Im an addict and your an addict,,we are all equeal in recovery and sometimes its best to get that valuable input from someone of the same gender !! However my dear recovering friend/sister/family member and Fellow NA... I wish you all the best in yourmlove life,,, I hope the stars fullfill your need for completeness and you find TRUE and everlasting oneness with that someone special ,,, who Ive come to believe will be there when we are ready to give unconditional love and affection !! Hugs in recovery !! God Bless you !! you deserve to be happy, love and be loved !!
__________________ Raman an addict cleanand serene just for today in NA Worldwide !!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
and serene just for today in NA Worldwide !!
