Were in ove,,, me and this wonderfull lady !! I feel like a teen faliing in love for the first time !! I thought id seen it all= one marriage,many engagements,one girfriend at a time thru the many,one long relationship without marriage or engagement,,, umpteen one nite/one week affairs !!! and now here i go,, by Gods Grace clean in temrs of sexual diseases,,,, free to be me and madly,, truly deeply in love with this wonderful woman !!! the Love Lights back in my eyes !!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Good for you Raman. Love is the sweetest part of life. I am glad you found it. Makes life worth living every second of it.
I have been married for 27 years. I can't wait to see my wife every day and I love her more as time passes on. I am sure the same will happen for you and your women.
In love. kenh
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God is the only one you can depend on in recovery.
thanks KENH ! those are the most wonderful words I've ever heard in a long time ! I GET A LOT OF HOPE FROM YOUR EXPERIENCE ! THE GODDESS OF LOVE IS MY STRENGTH !
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Raman, all the best to you and your lady love! How wonderful for you both! My husband and I have been together for 15 years and although we have our ups and downs, I can't imagine my life without him. He is truly my best friend and every day I wish for him every happiness and much peace. Thank you for sharing your joy with us.
Hey thank you so much family for sharing on this topic, perhaps one of the most important parts of life but somehow the most less shared topic in NA... surprises me that no one shares about this major part of everyday recovery that most addicts get to live on a daily basis - life with their spouse and how the program is helping them deal with it
Ken I can relate a lot with what you shared about your feelings for your wife. Right at this moment, my wife's out to her Salon and for her ayurvedic massage, it's been more than an hour, and I have already started missing her you know, looking out of the window at every sound of a car in the lane below to see if it's her
What a gift it is of our Higher Power that we have been blessed with a loved one who shares our life, physically, emotionally and spiritually, our joy and pain everything To love and to be loved is in fact the most amazing experience that recovery has brought into my being...
So happy for you Raman, I see a very beautiful and tender side of you that is so very illuminating and infectious
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Blithe, the very fact that there are also "downs", not only "ups" in a relationship, for me, means that it's a healthy one, on the right course
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
mmmmmmmmmm,,,, love of recovery,, of service to NA,,love ofmy Gods and Goddesses,,love for Fellowmen,my family and friends,,then love for my darling daughter,, love for few women i met but couldnt stay in love with,,, and now love of my work and hobby and now love for my newfound lady love !!!and then of myself too !!! mmmmmmm,,,, all this love has kept me alive !!! and well !!and wanting more of the Good things this Program(DIVINE)has to offer !
-- Edited by Raman at 04:52, 2007-11-16
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I thought I'd posted a msg about this yesterday. But I'm new at this and maybe I didn't do it properly. I find this embarassing, but what the hell. It sort of fit's in nicely to Raman's being in love. I'm happy for you. Actually, I'm jealous. I need to find release or at least get it off my chest... I've met someone special. Someone whose helped me get to six months clean and every day that I make clean after six months he can take some credit for. It's not a school girl crush on a counsellor... I know... how cliched is that. I even left one country for another and the feelings remain the same. I'm an adult. Not a pre-teen with a crush you understand. And this man in not even my primary counsellor and I know he loves me too, I'm not saying he loves me in the romantic sense, but I know he cares for me a great deal, more than the average client in his care. So what do I do? Do I at some point tell him I feel? Or do I try and forget his exsistence, whixh is going to be hard to do as I still cross the border to go back to the rehab he runs for counselling sessions. Tell me... I'm at a loss. And I know... Get a plant first and then get a pet... Except I've already got pets and they're spoilt rotten... Help!!!!
Chedza, I know you are really asking your questions to Raman, but do you mind if I offer some input?
If you do mind, please stop reading here. I won't be offended!
The first part is a suggestion to stay out of a relationship for at least the first year of recovery. I was taught that during the first year it could threaten our recovery to make any major decisions or changes: Don't start or end a relationship, don't move, don't change jobs, etc.
In fact, my sponsor early on told me that I was a very special case and that I was probably looking at a good five years before I would be ready for any of that! She also told me that if I see or meet someone towards whom I feel romantic, I should turn around and run in the opposite direction as fast as I can. (She was right on both counts.)
I'm writing all this to say that perhaps you might consider taking the suggestion you offered in another post: Trust in the process and make recovery your number one priority.
I wasn't just asking Raman, Blithe. It was anyone who anwered. And in my heart of hearts I know you're right. Thank you for that. So I suppose I should go out and buy a pot plant. I still have to convince myself of that though, you know? The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
In fact yes Chedza,, I humbly hand it over to Blithe,,, two things Id like to share from my experience= 1.Love is many splendoured,,,, it takes many forms,,, as you know too !! However when it comes to love affairs,, its Back to the Text= "relationships can be a terribly painful area because we tend to fantasize and project what will happen". The word relationship dosent necessarily mean love affair but the same thing can happen in a love affair,, my desires maynot be fulfilled leaving me feeling more inadequeate and feeling worthless !! the sad part in human relatiuonship is the parting,,, very few instances of letting go with love !!Affairs usually end with acusations,, tearing each others characters apart etc.. Now you know all this so it is easier to convey the message that at least in the first year we need to keep staying clean as top prioroty,,, Hook your recovery to the higest star and let nothing come between !!! 2. As far as ive experienced by way of correcetness,, it is sometimes best to get input from another member of the same sex,, especially regarding sexuality,gender problems as well as affairs of the heart. As ive observed,, and i may be wrong,, but all the same i think that men in recovery tend to use female recoverers as mother figures,,and females use men as father fugures,, thats ok, but in conext of life saving,, recovery oriented guidance,, these communications are not based on adult to adult equeations so whats best for my recovery may be missed out !! the underlying principle i try to practice in all my communications with others in recovery is this= Im an addict and your an addict,,we are all equeal in recovery and sometimes its best to get that valuable input from someone of the same gender !! However my dear recovering friend/sister/family member and Fellow NA... I wish you all the best in yourmlove life,,, I hope the stars fullfill your need for completeness and you find TRUE and everlasting oneness with that someone special ,,, who Ive come to believe will be there when we are ready to give unconditional love and affection !! Hugs in recovery !! God Bless you !! you deserve to be happy, love and be loved !!
-- Edited by Raman at 03:57, 2007-11-29
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Thank you Raman. You and Blithe are right and I need to focus on recovery, recovery recovery. And my friend would in no way want me to endanger my recovery over him. He being 13 years clean himself. I have a fairly thick skull, I think I just needed to hear someone, or someones verbalise, vocalise this message. He's in no way a father figure but I do understand what you're saying. Thank you for the support, both of you. They say you can't die from a broken heart right?
