So i copy and pasted this from a message i wrote on another site i post on because i'm too lazy to type it again, and i don't know what i've told you guys about my recent past or not cuz i've left you outta loop, so if there is anything in here you didn't know then yeah, that's what has just happend to me recently
This is really hard for me to write cuz it's embarrassing, So when i was in Chicago last weekend (i dunno if i told you guys i went yet again?) i left my jeans at my friends house, and this is a problem because they are my only pair, and it's starting to get really cold, so i asked my friend to send em' to me in the mail, but we got in a huge fight over her doing heroin around me when i was there, and i was angry at her because she went into rehab yesterday, and selfishly all i thought about was my jeans and how pissed i was she didn't send em, never mind her ODing (for the second time AGAIN!!) and all that, selfish me was just pissed at the way she treated me like shit and my jeans being left there.
Well today i got a package in the mail, from her, and it was my jeans, and i started crying (i know, sounds reallly lame) but i cried for a total of maybe 5 Seconds, but that is huge, and rather embarassing, because i DONT cry, i just physically can't even if i wanted to.. doesn't happen, but the thing that got me so emotional is cuz it just all hit me how i should have been there in a more supportive way for her when she ODed and talked to her before she went into rehab and told her i was proud of her and loved her, but instead i was angry over a stupid effin' pair of jeans?
so gettin those in the mail just reminded me about all the thing i love about her and the shit we've been through and made me feel so guilty, this is really embarrassing for me to write..
Thanks for sharing, Scott. I have come to believe that it's ok to cry and if I'm crying over my feelings on a loved one, it only goes to show how much I love the other person... good feeling
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.